


authentic rat club

by dismaltemperament



Category: Gotham Academy (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, I think., Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Miscommunication, My Chemical Romance References, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, Swearing, Texting, chat fic, everyone's a sophomore but maps, i promise there's more to this than just star wars and mcr, setting is like....., texting fic, the stalin's sex holiday thing is a joke, updates on weekends!, with a hint of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-01-27 05:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 25,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21386659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dismaltemperament/pseuds/dismaltemperament
Summary: bastard disaster: FJDOSKDKSO THIS IS MY UNREQUITED ROMANTIC SUBPLOT POMbastard disaster: NOT YOURSbastard disaster: BESIDESSS we all know ur just jealousfr(b)itch: wtf i actually have a bf unlike youfr(b)itch: wait colton wh at r u tgalkign abtfr(b)itch: COLTON STOP DRY HUMPING KYLE AND FUCKING REPLY(Or, theGotham Academytexting fic. Rated T for swearing, Pom bullying Kyle, unwanted MCR references, Stalin's Sex Holiday, high school dances, and more.)
Relationships: Kyle Mizoguchi/Colton Rivera, Mia "Maps" Mizoguchi/Damian Wayne, Pomeline Fritch & Colton Rivera, Pomeline Fritch/Olive Silverlock, Tristan Grey & Olive Silverlock
Comments: 32
Kudos: 52





	1. welcome to MY MINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what's that in the sky??? a bird? a plane?? wonder woman???? SIKE, it's a fresh meme from yours truly. i haven't written a texting fic since 2017 and im PUMPED fellas.
> 
> name key: 
> 
> olive garden - **olive**  
im the map - **maps**  
zeke from hsm - **kyle**  
fr(b)itch, pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way - **pomeline**  
bastard disaster, big river grill - **colton**

**olive garden**: FALL BREAK'S ALMOST HERE

**im the map**: U KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!!

**im the map** added **colton rivera**, **pom fritch** to **detective club!!: fall edition**

**olive garden**: thank hesus. it was gettin slow around this joint

**im the map**: _ MMM _?? O FF E M D ED!!

**olive garden**: maps ily but im with u 19 hours a day + kyle never responds to my chats anymore

**olive garden**: i need fresh meat

**colton**: lmao dont expect pom 2 b any better than kyle

**pom**: oh what is that noise i hear? could it possibly be the sound of undergrads talking shit? hmm? 

**colton**: goth girl gets #hurted

**zeke from hsm**: hey, what's up guys

**colton**: HI KYLE!! 

**colton**: how was ur day dude

**zeke from hsm**: it was ok. i have two tennis matches this weekend and that huge bio test on monday. tis kinda stressful

**colton**: u can always swing by my place if u need some help studying!! 

**kyle**: actually that sounds great. be there in 10?

**colton**: great! see u then!

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**fr(b)itch**: ”””studying””” w kyle 

**fr(b)itch**: mhm hm we see u colton

**bastard disaster**: FJDOSKDKSO THIS IS _ MY _ UNREQUITED GAY ROMANCE SUBPLOT POM 

**bastard disaster**: NOT YOURS

**bastard disaster**: BESIDESSS we all know ur just jealous 

**fr(b)itch**: wtf i actually have a bf unlike you

**fr(b)itch**: wait colton wh at r u tgalkign abt

**fr(b)itch**: COLTON STOP DRY HUMPING KYLE AND FUCKENING REPLY

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**pom**: this just in: colton is a bitch

**olive garden**: we been known tho

**im the map**: so this leaves just us girls!! what shall we do laid ease?

**olive garden**: lets commit a felony 

**im the map**: omg noo

**pom**: omg YES 

**olive garden**: all in favor of committing a crime say aye!

**pom**: aye

**im the map**: aye guess so

**olive garden**: nice

**im the map** changed **pom**’s name to **pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**

**olive garden**: shit maps did u read my immortal? 

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: more like she WROTE my immortal. that shits right up her alley 

**im the map**: u too tho???? colton said u’d smooch a vamppie

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: I SAID THAT ONE TIME FKDJSGFUSI

**pomeline fritch dark’ness dementia raven way**: WEE WERE PLAYIN TWENTY QUESTIONS @ 2 AM AND I SAID ID SMASH ROBERT PATTINSON

**olive garden**: idk wht any of this means bc i never watched twilight but Sounds Legit

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: IRONICALLY

**pomeline fritch dark’ness dementia raven way**: WE WATCHED TWILIGHT _ IRONICALLY _

“**detective club!!: fall edition**”

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: to be fair we all knw who colton wants 2 smooch

**zeke from hsm**: man you guys blew up the chat

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: speak of the devil

**colton**: POM STOPP

**zeke from hsm**: ??

**zeke from hsm**: backread and what?? did you guys actually commit a crime or

**im the map** changed **colton**’s name to **big river grill**

**olive garden**: only crime committed in the past hour was maps forcing me to watch twilight 

**zeke from hsm**: i should have never let her watch that

**olive garden**: look what u caused kyle!!! ur horrib,le parenting skills,,,,,, i have trauma now

**olive garden**: kristen stewart is hot but why,,,, why does she talk like That

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**bastard disaster**: wouldja look at that,,,,,,,,,, 

**bastard disaster**: olive’s type is overdramatic goth girls 

**fr(b)itch**: DSTIICDGU FUCC OFF HOE

**bastard disaster**: i rest my case

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u know kyle is horrible at texting. don't even try to fight me on this. if there's a character you wanna see specifically, let me know in the comments!


	2. emos REASSEMBLE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **olive garden**: no maps ITS just MY RELIGION, MY LIFE, THE REASON IM BREATHIN,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> annnd we're back. thus starts the emo escapades. enjoy.
> 
> name key:
> 
> olive garden - **olive**  
im the map - **maps**  
zeke from hsm - **kyle**  
fr(b)itch, pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way - **pomeline**  
bastard disaster, big river grill - **colton**

"**detective club: SPOOKY EDITION**"

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: FUCKKKKKKKKK

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: FUCK FUCK fuCK FUCK 

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: ...

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: ok guys this is the point where you chime in and say,"gee pomeline, what seems to be the matter darling?"

**zeke from hsm**: gee pomeline, what seems to be so dire that you use your forbidden phone on campus to text us during class?

**big river grill**: ooo roasted

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: were u fuckfifng ghostin me colton rivera

**big river grill**: listen.

**big river girll**: can u blame me if i put subway surfers on higher priority than this chat?

**zeke from hsm**: and a higher priority than a good education, apparently.

**big river grill**: yooo kyle dont @ me

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: guys HOLDY SHITBe TOpp Stop sexting in MY gd chat and check fucking twitter

**zeke from hsm**: sorry pom cant, in class

**olive garden**: sorry pom cant, only bitches have a twit er

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: sigh

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: must i do everything myself

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: [screenshot]

**im the map**: hey friendss! whatd i miss 

**zeke from hsm**: ...

**im the map**: ohhhh,,,, oh wow.

**olive garden**: FUCCKCCKCKCKCKCKEYCFCK

**olive garden**: FUCK FUCK FUCK

**olive garden**: FUCK ME IN THE FUCKIG ASS WHATTHE

**big river grill**: JSIGSJHWSISJSJSSJSHSSJSJSHHFUCKCKCKCICFUUCK

**big river grill**: ITS RELAL

**big river grill**: I GOOGELD ITS REAL

**olive garden**: POM WTY DDINT YOU JUST END CLASS OVER THIS SHIT

**olive garden**: IM CRYING IN FORTY DIFFERNT LANGUAgGES RN

**big river grill**: hhhhhh im cryning in 1

**big river grill**: EMO

**im the map**: Thats great guys! My chemical romance's back together!

**im the map**: thats a Band, right?

**olive garden**: no maps ITS just MY RELIGION, MY LIFE, THE REASON IM BREATHIN,

**big river grill**: God loves me and i love her

**olive garden**: atheists, explain this 

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: reunion party in my dorm in ten

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: tristan and the kids from goth book club are already on their ways, dont be a square

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: bring anyone you want

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: its time for the emos to rise. to reunite. to take back what once belonged to them.

**zeke from hsm**: Thats really cool, I'm happy for you guys, but are we still studying for the vocab test like we planned?


	3. "when life gives you lemons, start a band" —frank iero, 2010

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> name key:
> 
> olive garden - **olive**  
im the map - **maps**  
zeke from hsm - **kyle**  
fr(b)itch, pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way - **pomeline**  
bastard disaster, big river grill - **colton**  
hurt cobain - **tristan**

**big river grill**: what a wild night, 

**big river grill**: amirigthe gays?

**olive garden**: guysssss start a band w me

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: k

**big river grill**: uhhhh FUCK YES

**im the map**: Can you play instruments tho??

**olive garden**: OFC why do u think i own a guitar???? ????? 

**zeke from hsm**: You DON’T own a guitar?

**olive garden**: INC O RREC T

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: i can play drums and bass

**im the map**: Oh!!!i can do vocals

**olive garden**: actually bby i was thinkin bout pom fronting us

**big river grill**: HARD veto, unless you want us to become bloody gothic rose 666

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: ok but is it a bad name? is it? 

**olive garden**: Pomeline Fritch Confirmed My Immortal Sympathizer

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: hey.

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: fuck you

**big river grill**: mayb maps shouldn't be in the band? *dead silence*

**zeke from hsm**: *from the 500th row* he’s right! 

**im the map**: Whatever, me n katherine are already in our own death metal band

**olive garden**: o’reeally? what's it called? 

**im the map**: Well we’ve gone back and forth on a few.,,,

**im the map**: Kids Of Gotham sounds like a kidz bop ripoff, katherine wasnt a fan of Dora and Her Explorer, but i think we’re rly set on her newest suggestion 

**big river grill**: oh yeah? and that isssss?

**im the map**: Stalin’s Sex Holiday

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: what the fuck

  
  


**olive garden ** created **Bloody Gothic Rose 666: Tier 2**

**olive garden ** added **pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way** , **big river grill** , and **hu****rt cobain** to **Bloody Gothic Rose 666: Tier 2**

**olive garden**: tristan!!

**hurt cobain**: awassup

**olive garden**: can u play any instruments?

**hurt cobain**: oh sure

**olive garden**: nice wanna join our band?

**hurt cobain**: oh sure

  
  


“_**Bloody Gothic Rose 666: Tier 2** _”

**olive garden**: this just in: tristan grey no longer apart of my band. more at six

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: that didnt last long

**hurt cobain**: idek whats up¿?¿

**hurt cobain**: colton handed me this weird horn thing and i was like “all i can play is mad world on the kazoo bitch”

**big river grill**: it was a bass

**big river grill**: i handed him a fucking electric bass


	4. watches only the nightmare before christmas at holiday house parties to assert dominance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i missed last week. didn't take very long. in apology, here's a double update.
> 
> name key:
> 
> olive garden, give me mcr5 or give me death - **olive**  
im the map, maps the map - **maps**  
zeke from hsm, drain entrance - **kyle**  
fr(b)itch, pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way - **pomeline**  
bastard disaster, big river grill, gucci gang - **colton**
> 
> also, "---" indicates a private dm

**maps the map**: secret santa?

**give me MCR5 or give me death**: secret santa

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"**detective club: HO HO HOES EDITION**"

**olive garden**: greetings fellow sluts,

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: hi olive

**olive garden**: we have decided we're all doing secret santa this holiday year

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: ew no

**olive garden**: stFu and be Festive, Bitch

**zeke from hsm**: actually, i'm pretty hyped for this year's ss 

**zeke from hsm**: considering last year was an all time low for us, it can only go up from there!

**olive garden**: i don't see an issue in buying an ACT prep book. you DID ask for one, did you not? do you think there's anything wrong with an ACT prep book, pom?

**zeke from hsm**: you signed the inside cover with, AND I QUOTE, "Happy fapping! Love, Olive"

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: kill me

**big river grill**: im down for secret santa

**olive garden**: yes! colton rivera! my knight in shining armor! 

**big river grill**: i shared my amazon wishlist w/ u guys, right?

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: nobody's buying you $500 gucci shades, colton

**big river girll**: NOBODY'S BUYING YOU 5000 PAGES WORTH OF DARK FANTASY GOTHIC LOLITA NOVELS, POMELINE

****pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way****: I NEED THOSE FOR GOTH BOOK CLUB, BITCH

**olive** **garden**: let's just all buy each other mcr return merch

****pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way****: uhhh maybe after a sell both my kidneys, maybe

**big river grill**: if anyone actually bought me return merch i would cry & devote my life to them

**olive garden**: whoah whoah whoah, i KNOW all you hoes can actually afford that shit, fucking rich kids

****pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way****: frank iero would want me putting my college fund first

**olive garden**: would he?? would he reallly?

**big river grill**: my parents don't love me enough to buy me return merch lmao

**big river grill**: that's what Y'ALL are for

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**drain entrance**: want to talk?

**gucci gang**: not really. sorry. shouldn't have brought it up.

**drain entrance**: no, you shouldn't keep it to yourself. i mean, if you'd rather talk about it with someone else, maybe someone more suited, i understand -- i just want to make sure you're okay.

**drain entrance**: i care about you, colton. we all do. and sometimes we worry.

**gucci gang**: i know. i'm seeing that counselor now. thanks for that, by the way. you didn't have to do that.

**drain entrance**: you don't have to thank me. i didn't tell my parents who the therapist was actually for, like you asked, but i'm really scared.

**drain entrance**: you haven't told her about your father yet, have you?

**gucci gang**: it's nice having someone to talk to without strings attached or any judgement. i don't wanna screw that up. what if she contacts cps? what if i get separated from him? 

**gucci gang**: i couldn't handle that, dude. he's horrible, but he's all i have. 

**drain entrance**: you've got me. you've got us, your friends. i know we can't replace your parents, but you aren't alone. don't forget that.

**gucci gang**: i know. thank you.

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**zeke from hsm**: remember those mcr shades mia stole from olive?

**olive garden**: wait, WHAT

**olive garden**: YOU MEAN YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM

**zeke from hsm**: mhmm. mia happened

**olive garden**: maps u better start RUNNING

**im the map**: hey!

**im the map**: uhh..

**im the map**: who's banging on my dorm's door?

**im the map**: OH CRAP ITS OLIVEEHGSHS

**im the map**: dgjhjHHEKLiohd zsheSHE"SGOTMJMMKME

**im the map**: hjk

**im the map**: Hi My NAmes Maps And Im A Raging Bitchhdhdud

**im the map**: h.

**big river grill**: ...

**big river grill**: you were saying, kyle?

**zeke from hsm**: yeah. so.

**zeke from hsm**: it's not return merch, but i could always give it to you, colton

**im the map**: doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of SECRET santa, thot?

**im the map**: this is olive btw

**zeke from hsm**: what'd you do to my sister??????

**im the map**: she's... indisposed. 

**im the map**: taking some time off to reflect on what she's done

**zeke from hsm**: just bring her back in one piece

**im the map**: yessir!

**zeke from hsm**: anyway, it doesn't necessarily have to be a secret santa gift. 

**zeke from hsm**: just a christmas gift in general.

**zeke from hsm**: or wait, you already know about it, so maybe i'll just give them to you tomorrow

**big river grill**: no dude, it's fine

**big river grill**: i mean, yes, i would love those sweet shades

**im the map**: MY sweet shades

**big river grill**: but you don't have to go through all this hassle for my sake

**zeke from hsm**: it's not a hassle! you're my friend

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: can u believe riverguchi is alive and thriving in this chili's tonight, olive

**im the map**: it IS quite the heartwarming sight

**zeke from** **hsm**: riverguchi....?

**im the map**: u 'n colton's ship name

**big river grill**: oKAY THAT'S ALL WE HAVE TIME FOR TODAY, WE'LL SEE YOU GOTHAM ACADEMY-ERS IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF "DETECTIVE CLUB: HO HO HOES EDITION"! don't forget to smash that like and subscribe button, and to comment down below

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**fr(b)itch**: only thing colton wants to smash is kyle

**bastard disaster**: WOW! go fucc yourself 

**fr(b)itch**: <3

**bastard disaster**: <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some Facts: "mizoguchi" means "drain entrance" or "gutter" in japanese. mcr shades are Real and i own them. colton's dad is a piece of shit. kyle & colton don't have a ship name BUT THEY SHOULD so i'm inventing one. cheers, gamers!


	5. very depressing filler chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow! update #2!
> 
> key:
> 
> pom - **pomeline**  
heathen - **heathcliff**

**heathen**: hey

**pom**: hey. it's late. what's up? 

**heathen**: nothing's up. just thinking about my girlfriend.

**pom**: whoah, tmi, dude

**heathen**: NOT LIKE THAT

**pom**: ik ik, i'm playing

**heathen**: i miss you

**pom**: you too

**pom**: i mean, i miss you too

**pom**: your band's really blowing up, huh? i keep seeing articles on google news

**heathen**: well, it's not MY band. but yeah, things are going pretty great.

**pom**: right, right, you're a groupie

**heathen**: i'm their manager. 

**pom**: i know. i'm kidding.

**pom**: when are you planning on finishing school?

**heathen**: i'm not sure i will. i mean, this job's giving me food, shelter, pay, and experience. what could gotham academy possibly teach me about music? and could they do it better than an actual, real-life band?

**pom**: oh. 

**heathen**: so, you hear about mcr reuniting? 

**pom**: obviously. i got the notification from twitter during class. it's pretty amazing.

**pom**: supposedly tickets for the LA show sold out in under five minutes. 

**heathen**: yeah. actually, i've got tickets to that.

**pom**: WHAT

**pom**: did i read that right

**pom**: you mean youre going to see mcr live in less than a month

**pom**: ???

**heathen**: yeah! ha. D. got em for everyone in the band, manager included. apparently she knows a guy who knows a guy who knows mikey. ditto's underage, so we're sneaking her in.

**pom**: that's amazing. i'm so happy for you guys. send lots of pictures. buy me a hoodie.

**heathen**: will do!

**heathen**: i asked D. if we could give you ditto's ticket. by then she'd already sold it on ebay. she says sorry.

**pom**: no, that's okay. my mom wouldn't have let me go anyway. you go enjoy yourself. 

**heathen**: yeah.

**heathen**: i love you, pomeline.

**pom**: love you too.

**pom**: wanna finish watching jennifer's body?

**heathen**: don't you have school tomorrow?

**pom**: sleep can wait.

**heathen**: okay. definitely. i'll call you. 


	6. CR U STY LEGGINGS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i missed last weekend but HAVE NO FEAR, for i am on break and have an abundance of Content coming at yall. also, no hate to any sw-related things, olive is just very passionate about her opinions. there are masturbation jokes in this chapter if thats something im required to leave a tw for,,?
> 
> name key:  
olive garden, rey star wars please crush me in the palm of your hand please / **olive**  
im the map / **maps**  
zeke from hsm / **kyle**  
pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way / **pomeline**  
armitage hux is my dad, big river grill / **colton**  
hurt cobain / **tristan**  
book dumb tv trope / **heathcliff**
> 
> "---..." indicates a dm between two characters.  


"**detective club: HO HO HOES EDITION**"

**zeke from hsm**: the new star wars was pretty fresh, ngl

**olive garden**: excuse me, WHAT

**olive garden**: the fuck

**olive garden**: it literally comes out TODAY there's no way youve seen it

**zeke from hsm**: two words: midnight screening

**zeke from** **hsm**: mia's still asleep. we didn't get home till three thirty

**olive garden**: im so jealous stfu !!!!

**olive garden**: NO SPOILERS OR ILL SKIN YOUR KNEECAPS AND EAT THEM FOR BRUNCH

**zeke from hsm**: my lips are sealed

**big river grill**: ok but do my boys finn and poe find eternal happiness together and embrace in a kiss, i need to know

**zeke from hsm**: you don't want an answer to that, buddy

**olive garden**: HEY. YOU. ARE THOSE......,,, SPOILERS I SEE?????

**big river grill**: kyle................. is that a good thing or a bad thing

**zeke from hsm**: ;^)

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: what up, why is kyle sending suggestive emoticons to colton

**big river** **grill**: PLEASE tell me they don't give finn another gf, PLEASE KYLE ITS FOR MY HEALTH

**big river grill**: oscar issac said they'd make cute babies.............. i want to SEE the STORMPILOT BABIES @ disney and lucasfilm

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: jesus colton we get it, you write new saga sw fanfic, youre not special

**olive garden**: wait colton is this true,,,,,,,, do you write stormpilot fanfic, asking for science 

**big river grill**: STOP @'ING ME POM THATS NOT OKAY

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**rey star wars please crush me in the palm of your hand please**: dm link?

**armitage hux is my dad**: yeah hold up, let me find it

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**im the map**: mhmm hey friends

**big river grill**: hi mia, are poe and finn canon boyfriends, please and thank you

**im the map**: uhh no, but kylo and hux are exes, if that's consolation?

**big river** **grill**: wait really?

**olive garden**: IS THAT A FUCKING SPOILER I SEE

**zeke from hsm**: oh yeah, forgot about that. hux is still salty about the breakup which is what built up to the tension in the last jedi

**im the map**: still can't believed they showed that 10 minute makeout scene when rey went into kylo's mind. i cackled when she was like "??????? who th is he???" and kylo's like "WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!!'

**zeke from hsm**: yup yup. wild times.

**p**omeline dark’ness dementia raven way****: okay, glad we know you two are completely untrustworthy and entirely manipulative

**im the map**: i love u too pom!!! ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡

**olive garden**: ok, here are all my feelings/predictions for ros

**olive garden**: rey kenobi - yes. valid. very good. in tfa, obi wan is the only voice to specifically reach out to her when she gets the lightsaber. thats because.............................. HE IS HER GRANDPAPPA and lor san tekka is her dad. done and done.

rey skywalker - ok, whatever, boring move but if it prevents the forbidden r*ylo im all for it.

rey palpatine - before i might've said "which one of you dumbasses came up with that one????" but now that weve heard Mr Crusty Himself in the trailer im,,,,,, concerned? sith rey would be sick tho. 

**olive garden**: finnpoe - duh. obviously. they are CANON KINGS. all signs point to: FUCK YES MAKE FINNPOE CANON. it just makes sense. 

rey x finn - no ew. thats a horrible idea and if you support stromscavnger or whatever the fuck facebook calls it i don't support you. simple as that.

finn x rose - i don't care THAT much about either of them so whatever. still think that kiss in tlj was totally unnecessary.

rey x poe - no. thats not an option. moving on.

rey x HER OWN SELF WORTH, DISCOVERY, AND MANY PLATONIC FRIENDSHIPS - YES. everyday. i think this has the best shot at being canon and i REALLY hope it sticks.

finn x giving him another gf - stop it disney, hes not THAT cute

chewie x rey, or as i like to call it, "what was john green on when we wrote that scene and can i have some of it please" - i mean. john green writes fic for it, so why not, amirite?

whatever hux and kylo are called - no shot at happening but they WOULD be good together. love me some enemies to lovers.

poe x hux - whoever came up with that is a GENIUS and can marry me

rey and kylo - NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. DISGUISING. EW EWE WE EWEWEWEWEWEWEWE. fucking lucy tried to tell me they'd be cute together last summer. there's a reason she doesn't go to gotham academy anymore and that's because she ships re///yl///o.

**p**omeline dark’ness dementia raven way****: wtf did i just read

**olive garden**: WAIT IM NOT DONE

**p**omeline dark’ness dementia raven way****: sounds like a personal problem, hun

**p**omeline dark’ness dementia raven way****: heading out to see ros with mum rn. talk to you nerds later.

**olive garden**: bye pom!!!! we love your horrible emo ass very much

**big river grill**: speaking of EMO...................

**olive garden**: O FUK THE MCR CONCERT IS TODAY !!!

**zeke from hsm**: no, no, no. i love you both but please save the emo for the emo chats, alright?

**olive garden**: *sad emo voice* yes kyle......

**big river grill**: isnt calling it a "sad" emo voice just self-explanatory? a double negative, if you will?

**olive garden **created **emo chat: mcr return: subject: I'M NOT OKAY (I PROMISE) **and added **hurt cobain, big river grill, pomeline dark'ness dementia raven way**, and **book dumb tv trope**.

**olive garden**: roll call, goffs!

**big river grill**: present! 

**hurt cobain**: im not gay but the fact that mcr will be playing a show in less than 12 hours really jingles my bells

**big river grill**: me too ^^ except im gay

**olive garden**: i have no bells to jingle and im bi but all of this is very true

**hurt cobain**: good talk

**olive garden**: ok, since our other fellow dark practitioners of the black parade are not with us rn, let's play 20 questions

**big river grill**: *emo voice* oh yess!!

**hurt cobain**: sure

**olive garden**: ill go first: where's the weirdest place youve ever masturbated in and did you get caught?

**hurt cobain**: oh, fuck you

**olive garden**: that a threat or a promise?

**hurt cobain**: its a sigh of defeat

**hurt cobain**: when i was in 8th grade i went on a dc trip with my class. it was dark. most of the boys were asleep. i think the quiet kid was the only one who noticed.

**big river grill**: back of my abuela's van. she thought i was asleep.

**olive garden**: thank you for this intimate knowledge, brethren

**olive garden**: a new bond has formed between us. i will probably use this for blackmail later

**hurt cobain**: hey hey hey, you never answered your own question

**olive garden**: oh yeah. underneath the bleachers during one of kyle's games. did it fully clothed. macpherson saw me, but my back was turned, so i told her i was looking for a cool rock. best day of my life.

**big river** **grill**: yoo, macpherson's seen some shit, real talk. once she caught me rubbing one out in a pair of pom's leggings. she told me to please go up to my room right this instance before she banned me from taco tuesday indefinitely. 

**olive garden**: F

**hurt cobain**: f

**olive garden**: but like, does pom know abt this....?

**big river grill**: ok moving on!!!! what's y'alls fave colors? mines orange!

**olive garden**: hmmmm........... scuse me while i make a phone call

**big river grill**: OLIVE I REVEALED THAT UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT YOU VALUED OUR FRIENDSHIP, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME

**olive** **garden**: kidding!!!!!!!! ily and your crusty leggings. my fave color is blue.

**hurt cobain**: pink

**big river grill**: now if my memeory serves me correctly, didnt you claim to be Not Gay a few twenty minutes ago?

**hurt cobain**: there's nothing gay about being a man and liking the color pink. 

**big river grill**: my gaydar is ringing loud and clear

**hurt cobain**: listen, ive only thought about kissing kyle mizoguchi one or two or three times

**olive garden**: YOO tristan stand down, not only is that my ex man....... thats also colton's future man

**olive garden**: GASP! you two'll have to fight to the death in his honor! how romantic!!!!

**big** **river grill**: FUCK DID POM TELL YOU, IM GNNA KILL HEr

**hurt cobain**: wait, you like kyle too?

**olive garden**: too?

**hurt cobain**: i meant, like, in general?

**olive garden**: and pom didnt tell me anything, i just kinda assumed

**big river grill**: oh uh

**big river grill**: coltonrivera.exe stopped responding

**olive garden**: aww, i feel like i should be ticked or something, but that's actually really sweet!!!

**olive** **garden**: you'd be good together

**big river grill**: you mean- has he said, you know-?

**olive garden**: i have no idea

**olive garden**: but i'll drop a few hints ;^

**hurt cobain**: cannot believe that riverguchi is alive and thriving

**olive garden**: that's what i said!

**big river grill**: NOT YOU TOO HSUWSHDJIKJKSLHGSKSL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *youtuber voice* leave a kudos if you cant believe riverguchi is alive and thriving


	7. dietshampoo is a god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> name key:
> 
> pfritch / pom / pomeline dark'ness dementia raven way - **pomeline**  
osilverlock / olive garden EMO INSTALLMENT(TM) - **olive**  
heathen - **heathcliff**  
big river grill EMO INSTALLMENT / gucci gang - **colton**  
zeke from hsm / drain entrance - **kyle**  
im the maps - **maps**
> 
> (c'mon, most of these are a given...)

**pfritch**: SHIT I CAN'T BELIEVE REY WAS RELATED TO YODA ALL ALONG

**osilverlock**: YOOO SHUT THE FUCK UP

**osilverlock**: real talk tho, was it good?

**pfritch**: ehh, i enjoyed it, but it had its weak moments

**osilverlock**: is chewie x rey a reality? 

**pfritch**: you DEFINITELY don't want an answer to that

**pfritch**: seen famcams of mcr yet?

**osilverlock**: ohhh yes. first thing i did this morning. also saw you fangirling on twitter ;;;;;;;^

**pfritch**: fuck i forgot you followed me

**pfritch**: but, they played deep cuts,

**pfritch**: ive wanted exactly one thing since i was twelve years old and that is to see our lady of sorrows played live

**osilverlock**: broooo, i saw the dietshampoo clips of vampire $$,,,,,, literally the goat

**pfritch**: we love two (2) legends and they are ray toro and dietshampoo on instagram

**pfritch**: hey,

**pfritch**: did i tell you heathcliff went

**osilverlock**: you mean to the return concert??

**osilverlock**: YOU MEAN HEATHCLIFF F'ING RAY SAW MY CHEM LIVE IN 2019 AND YOU DIDNT GO WITH HIM????

**pfritch**: he said they tried to snag me tickets but it didnt work out. honestly...

**pfritch**: im glad i didnt go

**pfritch**: i mean, YES i wanted to be at shrine hall last night, but i wouldnt have enjoyed it if id been there with him

**pfritch**: can i be really, really transparent with you?

**osilverlock**: yeah ofc, shoot

**pfritch**: i think i'm gonna end it with heathcliff. 

**pfritch**: when i'm with him, i'm not myself. i've put on this mask, the coolkid stance i used when i treated you and mia like shit, and that isnt who i am. ive realized i don't have to be that way in order to be accepted. at least not with you guys, and i think that really counts for something. ive never had that before.

**osilverlock**: newsflash, youre still a raging emo bitch with the detective club

**osilverlock**: not that that's a bad thing!!! we love you for you, pomeline

**pfritch**: im not saying im gonna like, start wearing mint green leggings and drinking lattes while vlogging about my new community garden-

**pfritch**: but i can be honest with you. heathcliff and i have never really talked about our feelings. it was almost like we got together out of obligation: i was the goth alpha bitch of the school, and he was a band nerd that had a fondness for the cure. i don't know how much he really cared for me. worse, i don't know if i /ever/ cared about him. we were dumb kids when we got together, and now that im older i want something more prominent. actually, i don't want anything right now. i just wanna be with my friends.

**osilverlock**: holy shit

**osilverlock**: i mean, im really happy for you, pom

**osilverlock**: thats so great that you know what you want and what youre gonna do.

**osilverlock**: i like heathcliff a lot, but im not gonna stop you. im honestly just surprised you were willing to share all that with me.

**pfritch**: tell anyone about this and ill kill you myself

**osilverlock**: i would never

**osilverlock**: seriously. i have so much respect for you right now.

**pfritch**: thanks, olive.

**pfritch**: so. mcr famcams?

**osilverlock**: Y.E.S.

**osilverlock**: lemme send you my fave one of helena

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**heathen**: Pomeline!

**pom**: hey

**heathen**: oh my god, last night was EVERYTHING!

**heathen**: me and the band are on our way to gotham rn. i can't wait to tell you all about it!!

**pom**: that's great. there's actually something i want to talk to you about when you get here.

**heathen**: cool. imma sleep now, get some shuteye. we didn't get back to the hotel until well after 1 in the morning.

**pom**: see you then.

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"**detective club: HO HO HOES EDITION**"

**big river grill EMO INSTALLMENT**: i want to throw brownies at ray toro's hair

**olive garden EMO INSTALLMENT(TM)**: then the brownies will be zucced by the endless void that hides the secrets of the universe

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: ohhh yess daddy....... i want to be zucced by your endless void 

**zeke from hsm** kicked **big river grill EMO INSTALLMENT**, **olive garden EMO INSTALLMENT(TM)**, and **pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way **from **detective club: HO HO HOES EDITION**.

**im the maps**: good morning, brother

**zeke from hsm**: hey, mia

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**gucci gang**: that was hurtful :(

**drain entrance**: well, so were you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last mcr chapter (probably) (not)


	8. stream fandom or i dont update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> camping, valentine's day dances, and hentai, oh my!!! [NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!1!!!11{}{]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall ive been gone for a month and literally all ive been doing is listening to waterparks. my apologies. (no name key we die like women and/or men)

**"detective club: but we're salty bc break is over"**

**big river dine and grill**: >be me

>go to macpherson's class

>pom starts discussion on women's sexuality in historical literature 

>macpherson: porn degrades women

>me, who watches porn without women in it: my superior intellect outshines all of you

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: so much of this text hurts me on a spiritual level

**spicy olive garden**: >be me

>open group chat

>group chat has become a 4chan green-text thread

>cry

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: goodbye!

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: HEYYYYY HEYY HEYY HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

**zeke from** **hsm**: we're back from the realm of the non-living

**spicy olive** **garden**: u guys have wifi????

**zeke from hsm**: we stopped at a gas station. gps says we won't be back in gotham until at least 11.

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: they're playing heyyyayayya faintly over the speakers and its amazing

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: how was buttfuck, nowhere, usa?

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: it was super cool!!!! i found some neat rocks and a whole trail behind our campsite that led to this weird abandoned tree house! i cant wait to show you guys the Polaroids i took <3333

**zeke from hsm**: we're going again during spring break. you guys should come.

**big river dine and grill**: id be down 4 that

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**fr(b)itch**: imagine that.... a week alone in the woods, no adult supervision.......... just you, him, and his unnerving collection of tennis rackets............... 

**bastard disaster**: STOP

**bastard ****disaster**: itsh too early to bully me over kyle,djffjdkdd

**fr(b)itch**: ............ the sweet scent of pine as you stroke those athlete muscles in a dark outdoor cabin...........

**bastard ****disaster**:👏 I'M 👏 GAY 👏 HOLY SHIT

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: ok gamers, were heading out to the car now, stay hydrated and sleep well!!!

** big river dine and ** **grill**: drink piss & live vigorously 

** zeke from ** ** hsm**: good night to everyone but colton

**"detective club: but we're salty bc break is over"**

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: so what sort of gifts did you guys get for the holidays????? i feel so out of the loop (‘-’*)

**big river dine and grill**: YOUR AMAZING BROTHER GAVE ME THE MCR SHADES

**big river dine and grill**: tbh it was the only thing i really got

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: BITCH I GOT YOU ACTUAL LEGIT GUCCI STFU

**big river dine and grill**: bItCh i goT yOu ACTuAL LeGiT GuCCi StFU

**spicy olive garden**: guys its too early for this, im so stressed over scarlet's test

**zeke from hsm**: you had all break to study?

**spicy olive garden**: honey if you think i did anything other than listen to waterparks, cry over mcr, and jack off during winter break, u are fooling only yourself

**spicy olive garden**: someone show me the bright side pls

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: bright side: mcr is still together

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: bright side: the valentine's day dance is in a few weeks!!!

**big river dine and grill**: mcr good dance bad

**spicy olive garden**: yeahhhhh. ewwww. we r all single and stupid 

**spicy olive garden**: cant we just go to superfly and then get starbucks bc they have good pastries

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: cheers mate i'll drink to that bro

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: i might spontaneously combust if i have to spend the entire dance wearing some tacky hooker dress and avoiding heathcliff

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: GUYSSSSSSSS（〜^∇^)〜 dances are a CULTURAL HIGH SCHOOL EXPERIENCE

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: OF COURSE we're going

**spicy olive** **garden**: hard pass

**spicy olive garden**: maybeee if it were a regular dance, but i am absolutely NOT walking into a dance centered around couples as a single woman

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: we can go as a big group!!!!

**big river dine and grill**: maps you KNOW that won't stick

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: ???? why not?

**big river dine and grill**: at least one of us will cancel last minute, someone's gonna get guilted into a pity dance, someone's gonna drink the spiked punch by accident and we'll have to take care of them, all while youre shacking it up with mr. damian wayne

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: wait

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: what abt me n damian????

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: ive TOLD you guys we're just friends (￣■￣;) 

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: colton's right

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: idk WHAT you and billionaire boy do during those things, but it certainly involves a lot of time and rotten celery from the cafeteria 

**zeke from hsm**: and a heavy presence from authorities 

**spicy olive garden**: ohhh does kyle not approve of his baby sister's boyfriend???

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: NOT my boyfriend

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: just my friend friend 

**zeke from hsm**: it's not that i disapprove of damian, i just find some of his habits questionable and think he isn't being entirely honest about his background and that it wouldn't hurt to be more transparent

**big river dine and grill**: aww, i wish i had a cute boyfriend kyle could be super passive-aggressive about 

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: don't get your hopes up, rivera

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: we're in the single boat for life 

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: except for olive, she's like our resident eye candy

**spicy olive garden**: what? nononononononono

**spicy olive garden**: idk what kyle ever saw in me, he must be morosexual bc i am FAR from what u imbeciles call "attractive" 

**big river dine and grill**: tbh tho! olive and tristan? i could see that happening 

**spicy olive garden**: EWWWW no, he's like my older brother & i dont like emo guys

**spicy olive garden**: now colton and tennis boy? that i can get behind

**big river dine and grill**: h uh

**zeke from hsm**: oh, you mean evan? i could see that. he's a bit starstruck by all of us, but colton especially.

**big river dine and grill**: oh. really? i've only talked to the dude a few times. 

**zeke from hsm**: i've got his number, actually, if you want it. 

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: save the boy talk for the private dms, guys

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: we were bullying olive over tristan, remember? 

**spicy olive garden**: ok, listen

**spicy olive garden**: i wanted to smash kurt cobain as much as the next guy when i was 14. that doesn't mean im going to settle with his angsty teenage reincarnation 

**big river dine and grill**: screenshoting. sending 2 tristan

**spicy olive garden**: COLTON MOTHERFUCKER DONT YOU DARE

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**scaley**: ill have you know, i give FAR better head than kurt cobain, reincarnation or not

** fire ** ** sexy**: tristan bby please, i was only kidding, you know my heart is platonically devoted to you

**scaley**: olive, i want a divorce 

**fire**** sexy**: TRISTAN NO

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: pomeline x lucy. discuss.

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: maps x eric jorgensen. discuss.

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: No!

**zeke from hsm**: NO!

**big river dine and grill**: FUCK NO!

**spicy olive garden**: FUCK! NO!

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: we're just friends （´〇｀）

**big river dine and grill**: eric's fine, i guess, but NOT for maps. no way no how

**spicy olive garden**: aye!

**zeke from hsm**: i'd take wayne junior over eric anyday

**zeke from hsm**: he REALLY rubs me the wrong way

**spicy olive garden**: he prolly watches hentai

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: olive, YOU watch hentai

**spicy olive garden**: THE FUCK NO I DONT

**big river dine and grill**: olive.......... oh olive......... this changes EVERYTHING

**spicy olive garden**: SHUT UP SHUT UP

**big river dine and grill**: i dont know if this friendship can continue any longer

**spicy olive garden**: GO AWAY

**zeke from hsm**: wow. i had no idea, olive. i didn't realize you were like that.

**spicy olive garden**: NONON NNONONONONONONONONONONONOONNONONONO SHUT UP SHUT UP I !!! HATE ALL OF YOU!!! FKSKYSIUODH:DUUHJSUIHDIS

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: hey guys

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: what's hentai?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the ga tag is just maps x damian, the occasional 500 word colton/kyle piece, and a bunch of DCU tie-ins i don't understand


	9. love is in the air & it smells like shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> feelings are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love yall but i love self-projecting on fictional characters even more, so enjoy that!!! also, as opposed to taking massive time skips like i was before, the setting of the story is still February, prior to Valentine's. no coronavirus in sight.

**olive oil**: COLTON

**armitage hux is my dad**: WHAT

**olive oil**: YOU HAVE TO ASK MY EX-BOYFRIEND OUT!!!!

**armitage hux is my dad**: NO FUCK U

**olive oil**: why not?? the valentine's day dance is coming up ;)))

**armitage hux is my dad**: i thought we agreed dances were for losers with boyfriends

**olive oil**: if you ask kyle out YOU'LL be a loser with a boyfriend

**armitage hux is my dad**: that would require him actually saying yes

**armitage hux is my dad**: which he wouldn't

**armitage hux is my dad**: he would never

**olive oil**: i think he likes you :^

**olive oil**: yall are perfect for each other!! seriously, why the hell would he say no?

**armitage hux is my dad**: bc he's not over you?

**olive oil**: ik im a god amongst women, but cmon, he's been over me for months

**olive oil**: he's been so uptight recently. a fun, cute, quirky bf named colton rivera is exactly what he needs rn

**armitage hux is my dad**: i

**armitage hux is my dad**: does he even like guys??? 

**armitage hux is my dad**: what proof do you have that he likes me. DID HE TELL YOU SMTH

**olive oil**: hold up

**armitage hux is my dad**: ?

**olive oil**: lemme ask him

**armitage hux is my dad**: WHAT THE FUCK

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**olive from hsm**: is troye sivan hot

**kyle from hsm**: yes

**olive from hsm**: aight

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**olive oil**: he likes boys

**armitage hux is my dad**: ???????? 

**armitage hux is my dad**: WHERE ARE THE RECEIPTS 

**olive oil**: [screenshot]

**armitage hux is my dad**: ohhhhhh

**armitage hux is my dad**: yeah he's bi

**olive oil**: see? now you have to ask him out!

**armitage hux is my dad**: NOPE NOPENOPENOPE

**olive oil**: colton!!!

**olive oil**: if i can't be in a fulfilling romantic relationship i at least want to see you blossom in one

**armitage hux is my dad**: why DID you dump kyle?

**armitage hux is my dad**: if you don't mind me asking

**olive oil**: well

**olive oil**: i wasn't in a good place six months ago. w my mom and everything. you know that.

**olive oil**: and i love kyle. i do. he treated me so well. but our entire relationship was like... i was with him out of obligation, right? we were like best friends who kissed often. by the point, having him around felt like a huge weight on my shoulders. i couldn't do it anymore. i know he felt differently, but i think he's moved past that. now he's hyper-focusing on school and tennis instead of us.

**armitage hux is my dad**: so you think i'd... be a good distraction for him?

**olive oil**: no!

**olive oil**: i think you guys would be perfect together. havent you ever noticed how lighthearted he gets when youre around? i can assure you, he's acts nothing like that when it's just us + pom

**olive oil**: bottom line? YOU GUYS MAKE EACH OTHER HAPPY AND SHOULD KISS SEND TWEET

**armitage hux is my dad**: okay

**armitage hux is my dad**: ill talk to him

**olive oil**: !!!

**olive oil**: really??

**armitage hux is my dad**: yeah, ill ask him to the dance

**olive oil**: look at my bby boy, all grown up, gonna ask his crush out

**armitage hux is my dad**: yeah yeah ;^^^^^^

**armitage hux is my dad**: now. lets talk about you.

**olive oil**: what abt me?

**armitage hux is my dad**: you and tristan?

**olive oil**: EWWWWW no

**olive oil**: actually tho,, i DO have a crush on someone maybe

**olive oil**: it's not tristan fck off

**armitage hux is my dad**: OOH

**armitage hux is my dad**: how is this the first im catching wind of your ~~~~feelings~~~~?

**olive oil**: :,)

**armitage hux is my dad**: boy or girl?

**olive oil**: gorl...

**armitage hux is my dad**: do i know her?

**olive oil**: maybeee....

**armitage hux is my dad**: oh shit

**armitage hux is my dad**: wait

**armitage hux is my dad**: is it...

**olive oil**: ?

**armitage hux is my dad**: maps?

**olive oil**: FUCK YOU

**armitage hux is my dad**: shshshshhs im kidding, pls dont hurt me

**armitage hux is my dad**: ok. a cute girl we know.

**armitage hux is my dad**: lucy? katharine? that girl you used to tutor for macpherson's?

**olive oil**: u mean ramona? noo, but she IS super cute. her bf would agree

**armitage hux is my dad**: ahhh. not ramona

**olive oil**: youre def gay if you think lucy classifies as a "cute girl" tho

**armitage hux is my dad**: olive!

**olive oil**: what? she's a jerkass

**armitage hux is my dad**: i know, but are you rly gonna stoop to her level?

**olive oil**: u know she started a rumor that maps had a learning disability?

**armitage hux is my dad**: what the fuck? that's so out of line

**olive oil**: i know! pom and i shut that shit down real fast, but i still hate that it got started in the first place

**armitage hux is my dad**: well, at least you dealt with it

**armitage hux is my dad**: but don't change the subject, olive! we're talking about your mystery woman!!

**olive oil**: oh, would you look at the time! im supposed to be meeting up w maps rn so we can binge netflix animes

**olive oil**: see you later, lord dingus, and have fun asking my ex out!!!

**armitage hux is my dad**: wait!!!

**armitage hux is my dad**: OLIVE I STG

**armitage hux is my dad**: WH O D O Y O U LI K E

**armitage hux is my dad**: whatever. ill just ask pom, since yall are so buddy-buddy now

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**bastard disaster**: who is olive's crush??? asking for science 

**fr(b)itch**: tf, how would i know

**bastard disaster**: so she hasnt told you? damnit 

**bastard disaster**: quick, name some cute girls in our grade

**fr(b)itch**: olive's bi?

**bastard disaster**: uhh yeah

**bastard disaster**: did you not know?

**fr(b)itch**: it's never come up, i guess

**bastard disaster**: were the bi jokes she kept making in the gc not forward enough orrr?

**fr(b)itch**: which chat?

**bastard disaster**: the emo one, with tristan and heathcliff

**fr(b)itch**: oh, i left that after i dumped him

**fr(b)itch**: i can still backread tho, hold on

**fr(b)itch**: wait

**fr(b)itch**: WHICH pair of my leggings did you jack off in?????

**fr(b)itch**: rivera, i swear to god

**fr(b)itch**: answer me or im telling kyle you wanna suck his dick

**bastard disaster**: .... the purple floral pair.....

**fr(b)itch**: oh THANK GOD

**fr(b)itch**: i havent worn those since you teared a hole in them

**fr(b)itch**: bout had a heart attack

**fr(b)itch**: WAIT. 

**fr(b)itch**: is that why there was a hole between the legs, colton??

**fr(b)itch**: YOU TOLD ME THAT WAS BECAUSE MAPS KICKED YOU IN THE BALLS

**bastard disaster**: uhh anyway, speaking of heathcliff

**bastard disaster**: how are things between you two?

**fr(b)itch**: im going to let this slide only because i need to vent

**fr(b)itch**: i miss him a lot

**fr(b)itch**: we can't even nod at each other in the hall without it being awkward

**fr(b)itch**: his band friends all look at me like im the scum of the earth, which is fair, i guess

**fr(b)itch**: and i 

**fr(b)itch**: have a crush on one of our friends and i feel like it won't go anywhere and i feel so shitty, like i havent had enough time to be done with heathcliff and i dont deserve to be loved again

**bastard disaster**: okay, first off

**bastard disaster**: you don't owe heathcliff anything and are absolutely allowed to like someone else. it sucks that things are awkward, but it won't always be like that. hopefully he'll get his head out of his ass and realize you guys are better as friends.

**fr(b)itch**: thanks, dr. phill

**bastard disaster**: now tell me

**bastard disaster**: WHO 👏 IS 👏 YOUR 👏 FUCKING 👏 CRUSH 👏

**fr(b)itch**: who do you think?

**bastard disaster**: it's

**bastard disaster**: not me, right?

**fr(b)itch**: dont flatter yourself

**bastard disaster**: ok, so if it's one of our friends and it's not me

**bastard disaster**: ... is it kyle?

**fr(b)itch**: fuck! NO!

**fr(b)itch**: your mans is chill but waay too much of a tightass for me to even consider that

**bastard disaster**: so it's tristan?

**fr(b)itch**: ok, to be fair, tristan is super hot and i was kinda enamored when we first met, but oh my fucking god

**fr(b)itch**: it's olive, dumbass

**bastard disaster**: wait

**bastard disaster**: wait

**bastard disaster**: hold the motherfucking phone

**bastard disaster**: YOU LIKE OLIVE????

**fr(b)itch**: uh, yeah. that's what i said

**bastard disaster**: omg, how did i not see this before? you guys are PERFECT for each other

**bastard disaster**: wait. olive's mysterious girl crush. could it be.....?

**fr(b)itch**: don't get your hopes up. it's probably that petite brunette she's always talking to in macpherson's.

**bastard disaster**: ramona? nahhhhhh

**fr(b)itch**: well, it doesn't matter. 

**fr(b)itch**: did you listen to that podcast i rec'd?

**bastard disaster**: the true crime one? yeah

**bastard disaster**: but DO NOT try to change the subject, missy 

**fr(b)itch**: im changing the subject. i wanna talk about ashley flowers now.

**bastard disaster**: who?

**fr(b)itch**: the host?? of the podcast??

**bastard disaster**: ohhh

**bastard disaster**: i only listened to, like, three episodes

**fr(b)itch**: there's only three episodes out

**bastard disaster**: damn, well, isnt that a shame

**bastard disaster**: so

**bastard disaster**: uhm.

**fr(b)itch**: spit it out, rivera

**bastard disaster**: im gonna ask kyle out

**fr(b)itch**: wait, really??

**bastard disaster**: yes, really

**bastard disaster**: right now actually

**bastard disaster**: ohshitoh shit im panickin

**fr(b)itch**: yo, calm down, you've got this in the bag

**fr(b)itch**: just do not ask him over text, whatever you do

**bastard disaster**: im gonna tell him to meet me by the tennis court

**bastard disaster**: fuck im nervous

**fr(b)itch**: calm down, be yourself, and youll be fine

**fr(b)itch**: ill be right here waiting for you

**bastard disaster**: ok

**bastard disaster**: im texting him now

**bastard disaster**: wish me luck

**fr(b)itch**: you don't need luck

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**gucci gang**: hey, kyle

**gucci gang**: you by the tennis court rn?

**drain entrance**: Yup, just finished up a practice sessions with some of the guys.

**drain entrance**: Why do you ask?

**gucci gang**: can i meet you there in, like, 5 mins? under the old oak tree?

**drain entrance**: Of course. I'll be waiting. 

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way **created **riverguchi support group **and added **spicy olive garden **and **big river dine and grill**.

**spicy olive garden**: owo, what's this?

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: colton's asking kyle out

**spicy olive garden**: right now? hoo boy!!!

**spicy olive garden**: you realize everything's about to change? 

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: yeah, we'll be making fun of colton for actually humping kyle as opposed to him just wishing he were

**spicy olive garden**: shshshsh 

**spicy olive garden**: u know that's not what i mean

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: yeah

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: i feel like a proud older sister

**spicy olive garden**: right?! motherfucking miracles, man

"**riverguchi support group**"

**big river dine and grill**: so...

**big river dine and grill**: guess who just got rejected!

**spicy olive garden**: what?

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: oh shit

**spicy olive garden**: i'm making a group call for the three of us

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: hang in there, rivera. 

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: we love you. nothing's changed.

**big river dine and grill**: i know

**big river dine and grill**: godf ucking danmit, i know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst time, babes!


	10. oh fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some things are bad, other things are bad, but a few things are actually decent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> picks up right where last chapter left off. a new character approaches. also: i'm sorry.

**olive from hsm**: i heard what happened 

**zeke from hsm**: What?

**olive from hsm**: kyle.

**olive from hsm**: come on.

**zeke from hsm**: I know.

**zeke from hsm**: Look. 

**zeke from hsm**: It's not going to change anything.

**olive from hsm**: he'd kill me if he knew i was telling you this, but he's so messed up over it

**olive from hsm**: i'm not trying to guilt you. he thinks he ruined the group dynamic

**zeke from hsm**: He didn't. It's not going to interfere with our friendship.

**zeke from hsm**: How's he doing?

**olive from hsm**: i think you should ask him yourself

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**drain entrance**: Are you alright?

**gucci gang**: im not gonna lie and say im good, but its fine

**gucci gang**: whatever

**gucci gang**: i respect your feelings

**drain entrance**: I reacted poorly earlier. I was rude.

**gucci gang**: its fine

**drain entrance**: No, it isn't. I shouldn't have reacted like that. I need to take responsibility for it.

**gucci gang**: thanks, then

**gucci gang**: i'll see you monday

**drain entrance**: Sure thing.

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**fr(b)itch**: how you holding up, rivera?

**bastard disaster**: honestly? 

**bastard disaster**: im crying

**bastard disaster**: im so glad im in the car and the wifis shit bc i dont want you guys to see me like this

**bastard disaster**: ples dont tell olive

**bastard disaster**: im a fucking mess

**fr(b)itch**: you're not a mess

**fr(b)itch**: you have every right to be upset

**bastard disaster**: i feel so fucking bad

**bastard disaster**: i wanna fucking die

**fr(b)itch**: colton.

**fr(b)itch**: i know you feel shitty

**fr(b)itch**: anybody in your position would 

**bastard disaster**: no they wouldnt

**bastard disaster**: straight guys go through this everyday, right?

**bastard disaster**: they ask a pretty girl out and she says no and they keep trying an eventually they get a gf and they dont fucking cry about it like a little bitch

**fr(b)itch**: you're not a little bitch for crying

**fr(b)itch**: you have feelings for someone and they didn't react well to it

**fr(b)itch**: kyle's at fault for being a dickass, in my humble opinion

**fr(b)itch**: you did good! you put yourself out there! i'm so proud of you!

**bastard disaster**: im crying because i go my feelings hurt

**bastard disaster**: thats the textbook definition of being a little bitch

**bastard disaster**: i put myself out there and look where it got me

**bastard disaster**: hes never going to talk to me and i fucked up our friendship an d im sorry everythings gonna be horrible now and i messed up your group

**bastard disaster**: i didnt think hed react like that

**bastard disaster**: i thought he LIKED me. i thougt tody, during class, when we high fived and he wouldnt stop giggling and would tell me what was so funny?

**bastard disaster**: i thougtt i did soemthing cute and he was endeared 

**bastard disaster**: i thought for one fucking second i was someone who could be endearing and cute

**bastard disaster**: i justs hoduldnt have said anything

**bastard disaster**: my stepmoms barely even paid attention to me

**bastard disaster**: i think she knows im cying and she doesnt fucking care

**bastard disaster**: hasnt said shit to me this entire drive home

**bastard disaster**: shes pissed i made her come pick me up but i COULD NOT stay in the dorms while kyle's at home everything at school reminds me of him EVREYTHING REMINDS ME OF HIM

**bastard disaster**: .im sorry

**fr(b)itch**: you don't have to apologize

**fr(b)itch**: you haven't fucked anything up

**fr(b)itch**: kyle told olive that it isn't going to mess up your friendship

**bastard disaster**: when did he say that? at school? after i left the tennis courts?

**fr(b)itch**: i'm not sure. she texted me right after the phone call. i can screenshot our conversation.

**fr(b)itch**: [screenshot]

**bastard disaster**: ok

**bastard disaster**: what am i going to do?

**bastard disaster**: im sorry im being so clingly but i dont know what ill do if im alone right now

**bastard disaster**: our house is so big and empty and it terrifies me being there with just my dad nd stepmom

**bastard disaster**: thats why im lways calling you guys

**bastard disaster**: thank you for being here but please dont leave me

**fr(b)itch**: i'm not going anywhere. how far are you from being home?

**bastard disaster**: we just pulled into our neighborhood. 

**bastard disaster**: im gonna ask stepmom to let me walk home from here

**bastard disaster**: i need to calm down so my daddoesnt see me like this

**bastard disaster**: ill call you when i get to my room

**fr(b)itch**: okay. olive's on her way to my dorm so we can facetime you.

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**balltime**: hey, colton.

**balltime**: mizoguchi gave me your contact info a little while ago.

**balltime**: i saw you by the tennis courts yesterday, after classes. you left so quickly i didn't get a chance to talk to you.

**balltime**: are you good? i know i'm late, but i wanted to make sure you were alright.

**crivera**: hey evan

**crivera**: did kyle, like, tell you what happened?

**balltime**: no. i haven't spoken to him since practice.

**balltime**: did something go down?

**crivera**: no.

**crivera**: actually, yes

**crivera**: can i be real with you?

**balltime**: sure, buddy.

**crivera**: i asked my crush to the valentines dance and they said no and im kinda messed up over it

**balltime**: oh shit. that's rough.

**balltime**: whoever told you no is a fucking idiot and you deserve better than their dumbass.

**crivera**: yeah, id like to think that too

**crivera**: except he's so much better than me in every way

**crivera**: and im afraid our friends are gonna side with him when they hear what happened

**balltime**: they aren't your real friends if they "side" against you when something bad happens.

**balltime**: i know we don't know each other well, but i'm here for you, colton.

**balltime**: anything i could do?

**crivera**: do you wanna

**crivera**: like

**crivera**: call? or something idk

**crivera**: i just hate being alone right now and youre really nice

**crivera**: you don't have to though, don't feel pressured

**crivera**: i shouldn't even have mentioned it. i'm just kind of out of it, emotionally and mentally

**balltime**: of course we can call! facetime or audio?

**crivera**: audio

**balltime**: can do. 

**\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- **

**female ken kaneki**: i feel so bad for colton

**female ken kaneki**: i wish there was something we could do for him

**allison reynolds stan**: i know, olive

**allison reynolds stan**: i'm scared for him

**allison reynolds stan**: i hope he's okay

**allison reynolds stan**: have you talked to him at all? or kyle?

**female ken kaneki**: i checked in with colton this morning, but im on data and cant really call.

**female ken kaneki**: ill be back on campus later this evening. maybe sooner if macpherson decides we have enough rocks or whatever the fuck we're doing out here

**female ken kaneki**: i texted maps this morning and she seemed none the wiser

**female ken kaneki**: i dont think kyle is reacting much at all

**allison reynolds stan**: i asked colton if he wanted to binge the umbrella academy earlier and he said he was talking to that evan kid

**allison reynolds stan**: i guess its good he's not alone

**female ken kaneki**: evan? from kyle's team?

**female ken kaneki**: the one that has a crush on him?

**allison reynolds stan**: i guess

**female ken kaneki**: thats good

**allison reynolds stan**: hey, do you wanna come over again tonight?

**female ken kaneki**: to talk to colton?

**allison reynolds stan**: i mean, yes

**allison reynolds stan**: or we could watch something or talk or anything, really

**allison reynolds stan**: colton and i may or may not still be on for tua

**allison reynolds stan**: so you could join us if you wanted 

**female ken kaneki**: yeah, that sounds great

**female ken kaneki**: i'd love to

**allison reynolds stan**: see you then, then


	11. oh fuck: the fuckening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The following Sunday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains references of abusive parental relations/child abuse. Reader discretion is advised.

**allison reynolds stan**: you talked to colton since friday?

**female ken kaneki**: no.

**female ken kaneki**: i texted him and he said he didn't want to be a burden to us. i told him we love him and all we care about is making sure he's okay.

**female ken kaneki**: he said he is. he's taking time to be alone right now.

**female ken kaneki**: i'm just so worried.

**female ken kaneki**: this situation is so fucked.

**female ken kaneki**: i could've sworn kyle had a thing for colton. 

**female ken kaneki**: i don't think it's me he's still hung up on, and i don't think it has anything to do with colton being a boy.

**female ken kaneki**: which... 

**allison reynolds stan**: which probably just makes colton feel that much worse.

**female ken kaneki**: right.

**female ken kaneki**: did he tell you exactly what kyle said?

**allison reynolds stan**: kinda?

**allison reynolds stan**: i think kyle was just really blunt.

**allison reynolds stan**: like, he was being super nice to colton, but shut down as soon as he asked him out and said "no," very plainly, very coldly.

**allison reynolds stan**: which isn't the worse way to get rejected, but considering they're friends, you'd think kyle would've been nicer about it.

**female ken kaneki**: i just don't get it.

**female ken kaneki**: they make sense together! 

**allison reynolds stan**: kyle isn't obligated to do anything.

**female ken kaneki**: no, i know, you're right.

**female ken kaneki**: but he didn't have to be so dry.

**female ken kaneki**: they're friends. good friends. he could have at least said he was flattered. 

**allison reynolds stan**: maybe he's not...?

**female ken kaneki**: fuck, don't tell colton that.

**allison reynolds stan**: he's probably already thought about it.

**female ken kaneki**: i know. he's beating himself up over this.

**female ken kaneki**: i think he's still talking to evan. i'm glad he's not alone.

**allison reynolds stan**: you don't think he

**allison reynolds stan**: likes evan, do you?

**female ken kaneki**: no, of course not. i can tell you right now colton won't be over kyle for awhile.

**female ken kaneki**: when he gets a crush, it's like being in a committed relationship. at most, he might make a comment about someone else being cute when he's head over heels.

**allison reynolds stan**: do you think he's leading evan on?

**female ken kaneki**: there's no way of knowing, since he's being so vague, 

**female ken kaneki**: i know he doesn't dislike the attention, though.

**allison reynolds stan**: right.

**allison reynolds stan**: what do we do now? i feel like we shouldn't be enjoying ourselves when colton's so upset.

**female ken kaneki**: i don't think he'd want us to hyperfixtate on this the entire weekend. we'll see him and kyle tomorrow, and hopefully things will work out.

**female ken kaneki**: colton'll call us if he needs us.

**allison reynolds stan**: mizoguchi better get his shit together if he doesn't want a stern kick squarely in the balls.

**female ken kaneki**: i'm gonna try to not get involved, unless kyle starts acting dickish.

**female ken kaneki**: colton's taking this really well, he's respecting kyle's feelings, and i will absolutely stand by him if things go sour.

**female ken kaneki**: i love kyle, but i can't love every choice he makes. and i definitely can't stand by while he hurts our friend.

**allison reynolds stan**: i'm really proud of colton for putting himself out there, despite the repercussions.

**female ken kaneki**: oh yeah, of course. i hope this doesn't stop him from being bold in the future, although i have a feeling it might do just that.

**allison reynolds stan**: i'm proud of colton, but i'm also proud of you.

**allison reynolds stan**: or, i mean, impressed, at the very least.

**allison reynolds stan**: you're being really strong for colton and i guess i'm just trying to say that its really admirable, i don't know

**allison reynolds stan**: i'm really glad colton has you

**female ken kaneki**: well, thanks,

**female ken kaneki**: i know you guys were friends before the detective club really became a thing.

**allison reynolds stan**: yeah

**female ken kaneki**: you're a really good friend, pomeline

**female ken kaneki**: pom?

**female ken kaneki**: ?

**allison reynolds stan**: sorry, got distracted

**allison reynolds stan**: tristan wanted to know if goth book club was meeting this week

**allison reynolds stan**: i told him "maybe"

**female ken kaneki**: does he know about what happened?

**allison reynolds stan**: i haven't told him anything, but i think he knows colton's upset.

**allison reynolds stan**: you're a good friend too, olive.

**female ken kaneki**: thank you.

**female ken kaneki**: do you wanna come over? we can watch tua.

**allison reynolds stan**: make that caos 3 and you've got yourself a deal.

**female ken kaneki**: okay, ebony way, get your ass over here.

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**armitage hux is my dad**: has anyone, like, asked about what happened?

**armitage hux is my dad**: bc ig i made a big scene at the courts on friday and idont really wanna repatutation as a crybaby

**olive oil**: you didn't make a scene, and no one's asked, although everyone knows pom and i are upset and seem concerned.

**armitage hux is my dad**: if a friend asks, can you just give them the brief version of it? 

**armitage hux is my dad**: so it's not weird tmrw.

**armitage hux is my dad**: only if they ask, though.

**olive oil**: of course.

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**hray**: Is pom alright? I saw her earlier and she seemed upset but she doesn't respond to my dms anymore

**osilverlock**: she's good. something happened to friend and she's concerned but personally she's alright.

**hray**: alright.

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**scaley**: yo, olive, is colton alright?

**flamefucker**: yeah no not really

**scaley**: what happened? is this about mizoguchi?

**flamefucker**: pretty much

**flamefucker**: he asked kyle out and kyle said no.

**scaley**: tf?

**scaley**: ill kick that preppy jocks ass, i swear to god

**flamefucker**: tristan, no.

**flamefucker**: let them sort things out tomorrow before you get involved. this is really between them.

**scaley**: ok, youre right

**scaley**: how are you and pom doing?

**flamefucker**: we're fine, just worried for colton

**flamefucker**: pom's with me right now, actually. we're watching the new season of sabrina

**scaley**: aw, movie night. how romantic

**flamefucker**: shut the fuck up

**flamefucker**: love you, talk to you later

**scaley**: love you

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**gucci gang**: fuck

**gucci gang**: fukc

**gucci gang**: kyle, i know you might be mad at me or whatever right now but i really need you to answer

**gucci gang**: i'm at the walgreens on deerpark blvd.

**gucci gang**: youre the only person i know with a license that isn't at school for the weekend

**gucci gang**: i need you to come pick me up

**gucci gang**: i know it's late, but i don't know what to do and im losing my shit

**gucci gang**: im sorry i fuked things up on friday but i really need you to come through right now

**gucci gang**: my dad got drunk and i ran away

**gucci gang**: i ran away, ok?

**gucci gang**: im not fucking ith you. he was saying all sorts of shit and im so sacred kyle please

**gucci gang**: i dont know if he's coming after me

**gucci gang**: he said he was gonna lock me in my room

**gucci gang**: i lied when i told you i was seeing that therapist, i havent seen her in months

**gucci gang**: fuck it im sorry illjust call my sister

**drain entrance**: Colton? Can you call me?

**drain entrance**: Stay where you are. I'm pulling out of my driveway right now.

**drain entrance**: Fuck, Colton.

**drain entrance**: Please don't do anything rash.

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**zeke from hsm**: Pick up, Olive.

**zeke from hsm**: I've tried both yours and Pom's phone.

**zeke from hsm**: I'm with Colton.

**olive from hsm**: kyle?

**olive from hsm**: pom and i both passed out

**olive from hsm**: whats going on? why do i have 15 unread dms from colton? it's past 12

**olive from hsm**: is he okay, please tell me he's ok

**zeke from hsm**: He's okay. FaceTime me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to establish that this is the last sad/serious/fucking wild chapter and we will return to our regularly scheduled happy-go-lucky chat fic shortly. Forgive me for this.
> 
> Also: I posted a oneshot collection for G.A., titled _nighthawk_, which already has some less-depressing Riverguchi.


	12. yes this is the serious one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T.W. for domestic violence, homophobia, and Colton's general self-esteem struggles.

Colton’s sitting on the closed lid of a toilet in Kyle’s too-big, too-nice, too-good-for-someone-like-him home. He’s breathing shallowly, trying to keep himself from hurling for the third time tonight. He won’t look anywhere but at his hands because he can’t risk glancing at himself in the bathroom mirror without his shades on.

His friends saw his eyes less than thirty minutes ago. For the first time. His best friends saw his naked eyes for the first time in their lives.

Olive sobbed, Pom gasped and her face wrinkled up in concern, and Kyle slumped over, running a hand through his perfectly-done-up hair as if he never thought it would come to this.

Colton’s still processing it all.

Five hours ago, he didn’t think it could get much worse than Kyle plainly saying _ no _ and smiling nervously when Colton asked him to the dance. His father managed to come through on that bet.

Maybe it’s Colton’s fault for asking to stay at his house for the weekend. He’s made it fairly obvious in the past that he doesn’t want Colton around, despite the fact that his home could hold three full families. He says he doesn’t like having children around when he throws parties, hosts luncheons and get-togethers, but Colton knows he doesn’t have any friends to invite to anything, and would rather just be alone with his second wife than be reminded of the mistake that is his only son.

Colton hates to be alone, but he isn’t sure he can face his friends right now.

He made Kyle come rescue him from his terrible home life and the goddamn saint actually did it. Right now, Gotham’s golden boy is in his bedroom, on call with Olive and Pomeline at three A.M. because of Colton. 

_ Colton_, who hasn’t stopped crying for two days straight.

_ Colton_, who smells like vomit and rust and the turkey sandwich he had for lunch.

(He’s starving, but keeps dismissing Kyle’s offers because: a) he definitely doesn’t deserve anything else from Kyle, and b) he’s not sure he’d be able to stomach it.)

So. Approximately three and a half hours ago, Colton’s dad found out he’s gay.

And to put it simply? He wasn't exactly a happy camper.

Colton was on the phone with Evan, as he had been for most of the weekend, finally admitting to what had gone down with Kyle at the tennis courts on Friday. Evan was a real champ about it, too, even though Colton knows he’s got a thing for him. 

(It’s still beyond him how someone could ever _ like-like _ him, but at the same time, he never thought his father would go as far as to lock him in his own bedroom, so maybe it isn't as unbelievable as he thought.)

Colton’s dad overheard everything. Eyes ablaze, he stomped into the room and told Colton to hang up the phone.

First came the screaming. He called Colton a disappointment, a spineless freak, a slur—that last one was new, but otherwise, it was standard procedure for them whenever his father got mildly inconvenienced.

Next was the punching, which, again, nothing new, but still never fails to scare the shit out of Colton. His father hit the wall and he prayed to whatever higher power was watching them that his face wouldn’t be next.

His stepmom—though he prefers to call her his father’s wife—tried to calm him down, putting a hand on his arm and saying they could deal with Colton afterwards, although Colton’s positively certain she was more concerned about him destroying her tasteful decor than she was him beating his son half to death.

But then his father slapped his wife away, something he’s _ never _seen him do, and Colton realized he was in some deep shit. 

His father was still shouting, getting closer and closer to him, and Colton started shouting back, saying he would run away, that he’d call the police, that he’d never let him get away with this—all empty threats, but still the only form of defense he had.

His father said, _ No, you won’t, you coy bitch, because you won’t leave this room until you learn how to behave. _

He took Colton’s phone and his shades and all of his long-gone love for his son and he left, slamming the door shut. The lock clicked, and Colton could hear him fighting with his wife down the hall.

It took about five seconds for Colton to decide what he needed to do.

He ran to his window and, thank God, it opened. He grabbed his school Chromebook out of his backpack and tossed it through the window, into the hedges below. Then he climbed out and dangled on the windowsill, counting to three before he let go and dropped into the bushes. 

He snatched up his laptop and started running. 

He didn’t stop until he got to a major commercial street that was still buzzing with cars at this time at night. He made his way inside the local Walgreens and plopped into one of the armchairs at the back of the store, by the pharmacy. He was hyperventilating and on the verge of crying, so he opened his Chromebook and used the monitor to block his face from the rest of the store.

His laptop had taken minimal damage from the fall thanks to the high-tech cover he got for it last Hanukkah. He logged onto his messenger app, which was technically blocked on school-issued devices, but he’d briefed the security on his at the beginning of freshman year. 

He scrolled through the contacts. He could’ve messaged his sister, although she's out of state and busy with her husband and kids, or he could’ve called his Abuela, who barely speaks English and lives on the other side of the country. There was the police, yes, but even the mere thought of dialing 911 made him freeze up. His mom hasn’t been an option in years, so that left him with schoolmates.

Pom, Olive, and Evan were all at the academy for the weekend. There was Heathcliff, who he barely knows; Tristan, who was most likely at school; and some old customers he wouldn’t exactly call _ friends_.

Which left Kyle.

He tried to rationalize it in his head: Kyle can drive, lives in his part of town, is known for being extremely versatile—and he might be mad, or upset, or offended by Colton’s little shtick on Friday, but he didn’t know who else to turn to.

So he hit the phone icon by Kyle’s contact.

And he didn’t pick up.

At this point Colton was properly panicking, rapidly typing out a bunch of sporadic texts to the boy. It occurred to him that he might have to camp out in Walgreens until his sister could drive up from Pennsylvania. 

He clutched his head and leaned forward, all the possible turnouts of this night rushing through his head. He could get mugged. His father could find him. He could rot in the back of this drug store, forgotten and unloved, until some poor employee found his corpse propped up against this chair.

And then he got an incoming call notification.

Now he’s here, alone in Kyle’s bathroom, holding back tears.

What’s he gonna do after this? He has nowhere to go, and he’d be lucky if Kyle lets him stay the night. He’s probably pushed all his friends away to the point of no return, and won’t have anyone to hang out with when he goes back to school—assuming he even _ can _go to Gotham Academy after all this is over.

He needs to talk with Kyle. They need to straighten out whatever happened between them on Friday. Colton cried the entire car ride to Kyle’s McMansion, and Kyle FaceTimed Olive and Pom as soon as they’d gotten to his bedroom. 

He broke down and told them everything. They’d already seen his black eye by that point. The girls were aware he had it rough at home, and Kyle knew slightly more than they, but no one realized he was being abused.

He stumbles just at the thought of the word. _ Abused_. He’s a sob story, a lost cause. He doesn’t want to scare them away, he doesn’t want to become their responsibility, but he’s pretty sure he already has. 

There’s a light knocking on the bathroom door and it startles him. Kyle’s voice floats in: “Colton? You alright in there?”

Obviously, he’s not, but that isn’t a valid response. He opts for silence while thinking up an excuse for why it’s taking him so long.

“If you need time it’s fine, but the girls and I are worried about you, that’s all.”

They’re worried about him. The fact should make him swell with warmth, but it just makes him feel guilty.

He thinks he knows what he needs to say to Kyle to make things better. He stands and makes his way to the door without opening it. Simply, he says, “I’m sorry.”

He can hear the confusion in Kyle’s voice. “Sorry? About what? It’s fine if you got some throw up on the floor, I told you my parents wouldn’t mind.”

Colton leans his head against the wooden door, shutting his eyes. “I’m sorry for fucking up, Kyle. I didn’t mean to put all of this—my problems, my feelings—on you. It’s not your job to fix me. Thanks for getting me this far. I’m so grateful to have you ‘nd Pom ‘nd Olive.” 

_ Because I’m not sure what I’d do without y’all_, he doesn’t say.

Kyle’s quiet for a long time. It doesn’t exactly soothe Colton’s nerves, which are already working overtime. 

Then, very softly, Kyle tells him to open the door. 

And after a moment of contemplation, Colton does.

Even though he hasn’t gotten a chance to dress since Colton woke him up, Kyle still looks devastatingly handsome in his mix-matching athletic shorts and T-shirt. It’s obvious they’re from two different worlds, him and Kyle: one for the smart, beautiful, successful sorts, and one for the people like Colton.

“I don’t know what I have to say to get this through your head, Colton, but I’m going to keep saying it until it’s embedded in there. You are not a fuck-up. You are not a burden. You are just as valuable as everyone else in our group, you’re one of my best friends, and I love you. We _ all _ love you. You’re wanted. You’re needed. This might not make sense to you, but our club wouldn’t be completed without you. I don't know what’d I do if something happened to you.”

Kyle steps forward, his face stern but caring, and puts out a hand. 

Colton grabs it on reflex, before realizing that maybe wasn’t his intention—but then Kyle squeezes his hand and gives him a little smile, and he swears his heart is doing somersaults as they step closer together.

But then Kyle’s smile falls.

“I’m sorry for what I said to you on Friday.”

Colton falters. He can feel himself internally trying to run, trying to distance himself from all of this—the farther he is from the wreckage, the softer the blow. He tells Kyle, “You don’t have to be sorry.”

Kyle lets go of his hand—oh, _ no_— and looks him dead in the eye. “Yes, I do. You deserve better than that. You deserve better than me—hell, Colton, I _ want _ to go to the dance with you. I _ like you_, I really do. It’s just, ever since Olive, I’ve been so scared of—” He shakes his head. “It was stupid and selfish of me to say _ no_. I thought we could go on just being friends for a while, nothing too serious. I was going to ask you for a dance and leave it at that. But tonight, when I saw you, I realized I don’t want to wait. I don’t need time. I want to be with you. But only if you’ll be with me.”

Colton stares.

And he stares.

And he stares some more, because _ ohmygodwhatthefuckjusthappened_.

Kyle likes him.

Kyle likes him!

He wants to go to the dance with him—

And he was scared of putting himself out there? But he’s changed his mind? He was still gonna dance with him either way?

He wants to _ be _with him?

But… only if _ he’ll _be with him?

“Kyle,” Colton says, and his voice cracks and his face breaks out in a grin and Kyle looks surprised but also happy. “Of _ course _ I want to be with you. I’ve liked you since, oh, you know, we've _ met_.”

“I’ve liked you for a while, too,” Kyle says. “But I need to make it up to you—”

Colton dives forward and clasps Kyle’s hands with his own.

“You don’t need to do _ anything _except be with me. You’ve already done so much.”

And then they embrace.

It’s not a kiss, not yet. They hug in the middle of Kyle’s great, big, sleeping home, and it isn’t a kiss, but it’s tight and it’s passionate and Colton can already feel something shifting between them.

And in the darkest part of himself, he can feel something else changing, too.

They stay like that for a while, just holding each other, and it’s all Colton needs. He forgets his horrible father and his shitty wife, his long-gone mother and his broken home, his insecurities and his fear and his anxiety, and—

“Kyle, do you know where Mom keeps the distilled water—oh, hey, Colton. What are you doing here?”

They pull apart and whip around and sure enough, there’s an exhausted-looking Maps slumped against the doorway to Kyle’s room. She gives Colton a small smile. He returns it.

“Colton’s going to be staying here for a while, Mia,” Kyle says, before he hastily meets Colton’s eyes. “I mean, assuming I’ve got that right…?”

“Yes,” Colton breathes, “I’d love to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know if i should be forgiven yet for what ive put colton through but im trying to redeem myself. will this be the last written-out chapter? maybe, maybe not. there's a valentine's day dance coming up, after all...


	13. we stan mr. mizoguchi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> riverguchi status: ALIVE and THRIVING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> late update bc im a lazy fool that wakes up too early + spends the rest of the day exhausted.

"**riverguchi support group**"

**big river dine and grill**: GUESS WHAT

**big river dine and grill**: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT

**spicy olive garden**: oi, mornin babe

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: go tf to sleep, it's 6 am

**big river dine and grill**: its 8 am mizoguchi time

**spicy olive garden**: right, what time is kyle's parents dropping you guys off at?

**big river dine and grill**: 8:30 i think? 

**big river dine and grill**: lemme ask kyle

**big river dine and grill**: yeah, 8:30

**big river dine and grill**: BUT ANYWAY I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU GUYS AND IT CAN'T WAIT

**big river dine and grill**: riverguchi is ALIVE and THRIVING 

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: wait

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: huh

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: hold the mfkn phone

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: WHAT

**spicy olive garden**: YES!!!!

**spicy olive garden**: OH MY GOD YES!!! I KNEW IT!!!

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: yall fucked with his parents in the house?

**spicy olive garden**: SHUT THE FUCK UP POM

**spicy olive garden**: i mean..... DID you guys?

**big river dine and grill**: NO WE DIDNT WTF 

**big river dine and grill**: ok so basically last night

**big river dine and grill**: actually it it was this morning technically 

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: skip to the part where you get dicked down by mizoguchi 

**big river dine and grill**: basicallllllyyy he said he wanted to go out w me but was too nervous to say yes and we talked for a little bit after he hung up on yall

**big river dine and grill**: and now we're dating!!!!

**big river dine and grill**: he introduced me to his parents this morning as his boyfriend sjherljfbdsss i have descended into euphoria 

**spicy olive garden**: bro im so happy for you!! <333

**spicy olive garden**: im givin u both MASSIVE hugs when u get to school

**big river dine and grill**: i keep having to remind myself that i can hold his hand n shit, that it's not weird if our knees bump underneath the table or smth

**spicy olive garden**: d'aww

**spicy olive garden**: hey, how'd it go with his parents?

**big river dine and grill**: they were confused at first bc they've never met me but i think it's all cool

**big river dine and grill**: kyle didn't tell them EVERYTHING, just that i needed a place to stay and it was an emergency 

**big river dine and grill**: i called my abeula and told her the basics, but i think she knows what happened

**big river dine and grill**: she's flying in this afternoon. apparently she has a a paid off home down here that she doesn't let my dad use??

**spicy olive garden**: power move

**big river dine and grill**: oh yes

**big river dine and grill**: ig im going to be staying with her for now. we'll figure the rest out when i see her. her english isn't great but my spanish is good, so i think it'll be fine. she's probably gonna pull me out for the rest of the week when i tell her what happened so im gonna get all my work today. 

**big river dine and grill**: im EXHAUSTED and operating purely on UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR MY BOYFRIEND 

**spicy olive garden**: lmao ur jst coming 2 school today to flex on us single bitches, arn't u

**big river dine and grill**: ;^)

**spicy olive garden**: ok but on that note im gonna try 2 sleep b4 school

**spicy olive garden**: pom fell asleep ten mins ago lmao

**big river dine and grill**: wait.. are you and pom together?

**spicy olive garden**: uhhh yeah i fell asleep in her room last night

**big river dine and grill**: ahhh. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i see

**spicy olive garden**: fk off & good night!!

**"detective club: but we're salty bc break is over"**

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: so was anyone gonna tell me colton is dating my brother or was i just supposed to walk in on them making out in my parents' bathroom myself (亝ω亝｡)

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: oh really? go on

**spicy olive garden**: kyle mizoguchi, can you confirm?

**zeke from hsm**: i can neither confirm nor deny

**spicy olive garden**: HSJSJDIKKSKSN

**zeke from hsm**: i can, however, confirm that colton looks dashing in one of my sweaters 

**zeke from hsm**: due to his lack of phone and access to school chromebook, he cannotorelhdsjdfbdldNDBJKJHSJHSK

**zeke from hsm**: HI COLTON HERE 2 SAY KYLE IS HOTTER THAN ME

**zeke from hsm**: BTW WE DIDHDUDNT

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: we get, youre in love, no need to flex 

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: they're wrestling in the back seat

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: dad just told them to save it for the honeymoon

**spicy olive garden**: EXPOSED HAHAHAH

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: we stan mr. mizoguchi 

**spicy olive garden**: shshhshsh

**spicy olive garden**: how long until the rest of the detective club gets to the academia? 

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: mom says 15 more minutes!!

**zeke from hsm**: guys

**spicy olive garden**: yes, bitch?

**zeke from hsm**: i've never seen high school musical 

**spicy olive garden**: WHTA

**spicy olive garden**: THE FUkC

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: bro even I'VE seen hsm

**zeke from hsm**: idk, i never had the time ig

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: i've only been asking you to watch hsm w me for the last four years ╥﹏╥

**spicy olive garden**: HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO UR B A B Y S IS T ER 

**zeke from hsm**: well!!

**zeke from hsm**: is it still worth watching? maybe we can do movie night sometime

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: nah man, movie fucking blows 

**spicy olive garden**: yeah i mean don't bother at this point

**zeke from hsm**: oh

**zeke from hsm**: colton says his abeula has it on dvd

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way **changed **zeke from hsm**'s name to **colton's bitch**.

**colton's bitch**: ah

**colton's bitch**: nice

**colton's bitch**: colton just saw, he's choking 

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: yeah he is

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**bastard disaster**: jsbflfgdfgegkhkg

**bastard disaster**: :))))

**fr(b)itch**: aren't you in ds

**bastard disaster**: nah, study hall

**fr(b)itch**: oh, cool

**fr(b)itch**: i'm in scarlet's ds but he doesn't give a shit if we use our phones

**bastard disaster**: lmao

**fr(b)itch**: how're you doing? considering everything

**bastard disaster**: im honestly just so happy

**bastard disaster**: im trying not to think about the stuff w my dad

**fr(b)itch**: you're going to talk to your abeula about it, right?

**bastard disaster**: yeah yeah i will

**bastard disaster**: im just

**bastard disaster**: nervous i guess

**fr(b)itch**: don't be

**fr(b)itch**: i mean, i've never met your abeula, but she sounds like a good woman from what you've told me

**fr(b)itch**: remember, you still have all of us. and kyle's parents. and you know you're my mom's favorite of my friends.

**bastard disaster**: ik ik

**bastard disaster**: i was just venting 

**fr(b)itch**: of course

**bastard disaster**: im gonna sneak over to kyle's bleacher now

**fr(b)itch**: lmao, youre so whipped

**bastard disaster**: maybe so!

**bastard disaster**: hey

**bastard disaster**: i love you, pom. thank you for everything. i know the bags under your eyes are my fault.

**fr(b)itch**: don't worry about it, i'm just glad you're okay.

**fr(b)itch**: i love you too, man.

**bastard disaster**: :)))

**fr(b)itch**: go bother kyle, olive's texting me now

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**zeke from hsm**: are you and pom coming to lunch?

**olive from hsm**: yeah

**olive from hsm**: maybe

**olive from hsm**: i dunno

**olive from hsm**: we're studying in the library rn, we might make it for the last 5 mins

**olive from hsm**: how's the boyfriend?

**zeke from hsm**: colton's good

**zeke from hsm**: i think. i hope. 

**zeke from hsm**: i'm still nervous for him. and i feel like i could be doing more for him.

**zeke from hsm**: i was pretty shitty to him on friday, huh?

**olive from hsm**: yeah u were

**olive from hsm**: buuuttt that sounds like smth you should discuss with him, in private, so im not gonna get into that w you

**olive from hsm**: don't be fooled, though. he's really happy to be w you. in class this morning, scarlet made a comment on how "up-lifted and prosperous" he is today, before giving us a pop quiz lmao 

**olive from hsm**: im really proud of you, dude. 

**olive from hsm**: just don't fuck it up with colton. if you hurt him, they won't be able to find your body afterwards 

**zeke from hsm**: yes ma'am, i'll keep that in mind

**zeke from hsm**: uh

**zeke from hsm**: is it weird for me to say to my ex-girlfriend that i love my current boyfriend so much?

**olive from hsm**: nahhh

**zeke from hsm**: so. colton mentioned he thinks there's something going on between you and pom. facts?

**olive from hsm**: oh would u look at that, i think i hear my study buddy calling me, gtg!

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**maps the map**: OLIVE HELP THEYRE MAKING OUT ON OUR LUNCH TABLE

**give me MCR5 or give me death**: OMG NO

**maps the map**: jk jk (￣▼￣)

**maps the map**: [image]

**maps the map**: they keep making heart eyes at each other and it's SOOOO cute but also they keep getting sidetracked when i try to talk about detective club plans!! pls come soon

**give me MCR5 or give me death**: ok ok lol, we're packing up rn

**give me MCR5 or give me death**: how you feelin, though? regarding all the new changes

**maps the map**: honestly, i'm just glad colton's okay. what happened to him was HORRIBLE. 

**maps the map**: i kinda hate being left in the dark tho

**give me MCR5 or give me death**: ik babe, everything was just happening so quickly and we didn't know how to keep you up to date

**maps the map**: i understand. ig it would've been weird, considering how much of it had to do with my brother.

**maps the map**: anyway! hurry up!! if i have to listen to these two be wholesome for even one more second im going to COMBUST!!!!

**give me MCR5 or give me death**: omw!!

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**"detective club: but we're salty bc break is over" **

**colton's bitch**: everyone, can we meet by the do/pu line to wait with colton for his abeula?

**pomeline dark’ness dementia raven way**: sure thing, coton's bitch 

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: i've gotta drop something off after class, but the answer is yes!!

**spicy olive** **garden**: i'm already there, baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now we return to our regularly-scheduled authentic rat club shenanigans. it's good to be back.  



	14. ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **colton's bitch**: what on earth compelled you to post a picture of me in the tiny cowboy suit
> 
> **colton's bitch**: i thought we agreed to never talk about the tiny cowboy incident again
> 
> **big river dine and grill**: now THAT's hot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next day!

**drain entrance**: good morning!

**drain entrance**: how's it going over there?

**drain entrance**: ah, right, you're probably still sleeping. i'll text during lunch. 

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**fr(b)itch**: u need to get your ass back to school as fast as possible 

**bastard disaster**: mornin pom

**bastard disaster**: why's that?

**fr(b)itch**: kyle's walking around like a lost puppy

**fr(b)itch**: this is worse than when olive dumped him

**bastard disaster**: jdHDHHGKHDGKHDDJEBHHLBRKHI:EUEHL

**bastard disaster**: i lobe hi m

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**olive oil**: [image]

**armitage hux is my dad**: is that a keanu reeves meme

**olive oil**: reminded me of u

**armitage hux is my dad**: aw! flattered 

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**gucci gang**: babe, my abeula's house fucking slaps

**gucci gang**: it's half the size of my dad's house but much more nicely furnished 

**gucci gang**: she's even got picture frames! nothing in them yet tho

**gucci gang**: she told me to put up pictures of my friends, especially of that "charming young man that kept making eyes at you"

**gucci gang**: ;)

**gucci gang**: sorry thats weird

**drain entrance**: no, it's not weird! 

**gucci gang**: kyle!! hey!!

**drain entrance**: hi! im glad i made a good impression on your abeula.

**gucci gang**: well thats not surprising, considering youre absolutely stunning in every way

**drain entrance**: nope! you're way too sweet to me

**drain entrance**: AND you're the cute one in this relationship. no i don't take constructive criticism. 

**gucci gang**: /////side eyes

**gucci gang**: wdym??? if anything im not nice enough

**gucci gang**: are you at lunch rn? did they serve tomato soup or that icky grilled cheese shit they do every other week?

**drain entrance**: uh

**drain entrance**: not at lunch, no

**drain entrance**: but they're serving the grilled cheese today, if i'm not mistaken

**gucci gang**: wait

**gucci gang**: kyle...

**gucci gang**: are you texting me during class?

**drain entrance**: ¯\\_(‘◡`;)_/¯

**gucci gang**: mizoguchi. you naughty, naughty man

**drain entrance**: oh, shut up

**gucci gang**: make me.

**gucci gang**: ...

**gucci gang**: kyle? you good?

**gucci gang**: shit im sorry

**drain entrance**: nonono dont apologize!

**drain entrance**: prof. milo almost caught me using my phone

**drain entrance**: and anyway, it was hot ;)

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**bastard disaster**: THIS BOY IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME

**fr(b)itch**: IM TAKING A TEST FUCK OFF 

**fr(b)itch**: YALLVE BEEN DATING FOR A /DAY/

**bastard disaster**: lmaoooooo someone sounds salty

**bastard disaster**: but why do you have your phone out if you're testing?

**fr(b)itch**: im cheating, obvs

**bastard disaster**: POM N O

**fr(b)itch**: ;^^^^^

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**drain entrance**: about to head to lunch, brb

**gucci gang**: aight! eat some of that nasty grilled cheese for me <3333

**drain entrance**: oh, i took the salad option

**drain entrance**: but maps got the grilled cheese. i'll take a bite out of hers.

**gucci gang**: babe...?

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**olive oil**: [video]

**olive oil**: why did kyle just eat part of maps's undercooked grill cheese with no explanation 

**armitage hux is my dad**: ok that MIGHT have been my fault

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**gucci gang**: BABE YOU ACTUALLY DID ITDD HLEFHBHL

**drain entrance**: my tongue got a little burnt, but otherwise, it wasn't horrible

**gucci gang**: aw no

**gucci gang**: ill kiss it better

**drain entrance**: i'll hold you to that

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**"detective club: but we're salty bc break is over" **

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: we can see kyle texting you under the table bitch, yall ain't cute

**spicy olive garden**: she's kidding, riverguchi is her otp

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: we are all sitting RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER please don't do this!

**big river dine and grill**: sounds like all the resident single women are just jealous 

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: 👏 fuck 👏 off 👏

**spicy olive garden**: single n proud, babe

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: ok ig we're doing this

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: speaking of!!!! the valentine's day dance is this weekend!!!

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: who's asking who??? (・ω<)

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: shit, are we still going to that

**spicy olive garden**: yeahhhh

**spicy olive garden**: but idk? maybe it could be fun?

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: you gonna ask someone out, silverlock?

**spicy olive garden**: maybe

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: oh

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: huh

**spicy olive garden**: is kyle still texting colton i stg

**spicy olive garden**: aight he wants to ignore us? fine

**spicy olive garden**: [image]

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: HUDHYGRFGHYUHD HOW OLD IS THAT

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: AHHHHH OMG!!!!!!!!!

**colton's bitch**: what on earth compelled you to post a picture of me in the tiny cowboy suit

**colton's bitch**: i thought we agreed to never talk about the tiny cowboy incident again

**big river dine and grill**: now THAT's hot

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**drain entrance**: did you talk to your abeula?

**drain entrance**: about everything?

**gucci gang**: yeah i told her about dad 

**drain entrance**: how'd that go?

**gucci gang**: she was pissed. my abeula isn't exactly the soft type.

**gucci gang**: but she also apologized, she was sorry that something like this had to happen to me, and she gave me a hug, and then she made some of her world-famous chocolate babka

**gucci gang**: she's taking her siesta right now

**drain entrance**: i'm so, so sorry, colton

**drain entrance**: i'm never going to be able to make it up to you

**gucci gang**: make what up?

**drain entrance**: just for what i put you through. that was selfish and thoughtless. i made a bad situation worse for no reason.

**gucci gang**: ok. listen.

**gucci gang**: you couldn't have known that my dad was gonna pull that shit. and what he did was not your fault in the slightest.

**gucci gang**: yeah, i was upset at first, but to be fair, i kinda overreacted.

**gucci gang**: we both made bad choices in the heat of the moment. everything's okay now.

**drain entrance**: is it?

**gucci gang**: YES, of course, are you crazy? things are better than okay. 

**drain entrance**: colton?

**gucci gang**: kyle?

**drain entrance**: do you want to go to the valentine's dance with me?

**gucci gang**: how about

**gucci gang**: you call me when you're free, ask again, and i'll give you an answer.

**drain entrance**: already done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao is the romance cringe, lemme know ✌️✌️✌️
> 
> apparently kyle is a senior in canon?? w h a t? i've been writing them as sophomores and i don't plan on changing that, so. enjoy.  



	15. me and the boys feeling edgy at 2 am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday.

**female ken kaneki**: /////slides into your dms

**allison reynolds stan**: welcome to the comedy zone, bitch

**allison reynolds stan**: rent is $420 a month unless ur cute

**allison reynolds stan**: cute people don't pay for anything in life

**female ken kaneki**: damn, then here's $420

**allison reynolds stan**: p sure you fall under the category of a cute person

**female ken kaneki**: owo?

**allison reynolds stan**: i swear to fuck

**allison reynolds stan**: never do that again

**female ken kaneki**: sooooooooooooooooooo miss pomeline 

**female ken kaneki**: you're going to the dance, right?

**allison reynolds stan**: i mean, do i really have a choice

**female ken kaneki**: cmon!!! it'll be fun!!

**allison reynolds stan**: i thought you didn't plan on walking into a dance centered around couples as a single woman?

**female ken kaneki**: wellllll maybe all the love in the air gave me a change of heart

**allison reynolds stan**: so you've asked someone out?

**female ken kaneki**: uh

**female ken kaneki**: not yet

**female ken kaneki**: okok so i kinda wanna ask my crush out but idk how they'll react. i don't even think they're going as of now.

**allison reynolds stan**: someone i know?

**female ken kaneki**: yeah. we're good friends

**allison reynolds stan**: shit

**allison reynolds stan**: wait

**allison reynolds stan**: it's maps, isn't it

**female ken kaneki**: NOO

**female ken kaneki**: FUCK O F F

**female ken kaneki**: maps is baby i could never do that to her :^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**allison reynolds stan**: lmao im just messing with you

**allison reynolds stan**: it's tristan, right?

**female ken kaneki**: uhm

**female ken kaneki**: that's confidential 

**allison reynolds stan**: shit it's really him? 

**allison reynolds stan**: i dont blame you, hes hot

**female ken kaneki**: confidential!!!!

**allison reynolds stan**: whatever you say

**female ken kaneki**: so what abt you? there's gotta be someone you like

**allison reynolds stan**: well, the truth is that i'm hopelessly in love with tristan grey, but i'll put my feelings aside in honor of the girl code

**female ken kaneki**: >.>

**allison reynolds stan**: ok but seriously?

**allison reynolds stan**: i do like someone

**female ken kaneki**: ask. them. out!!

**allison reynolds stan**: they don't like me

**female ken kaneki**: you don't know that

**allison reynolds stan**: i do. they've told me. 

**female ken kaneki**: shit

**female ken kaneki**: they don't know what they're missing

**allison reynolds stan**: whatever

**allison reynolds stan**: gtg. goth book club is meeting before classes

**female ken kaneki**: right, yeah. sorry i couldn't make it today. i told maps and kyle we'd eat breakfast on the bleachers.

**allison reynolds stan**: it's fine

**female ken kaneki**: have a good day

**allison reynolds stan**: you too

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**dwayne**: [video]

**(◕‿◕✿)**: omg damian!!! is that your puppy?

**dwayne**: Nah, we're just taking care of her for a friend. I thought you might like her.

**(◕‿◕✿)**: she's ADORABLE! i want to adopt her!!!!! 

**dwayne**: You know. You could come see her, if you wanted.

**(◕‿◕✿)**: don't you have work?

**dwayne**: I'm off this weekend.

**(◕‿◕✿)**: i would love to come over!! that'd be amazing

**(◕‿◕✿)**: can i bring my friends?

**dwayne**: I'm not sure if my dad would want a bunch of teenagers in his house while he's out.

**(◕‿◕✿)**: fair. how abt just my brother and his boyfriend?

**dwayne**: That could work.

**(◕‿◕✿)**: waitwaitwaitwaitwait omggg

**(◕‿◕✿)**: im so stupid

**dwayne**: You're really not?

**(◕‿◕✿)**: the valentine's day dance is this weekend!!!

**dwayne**: Oh. Some other time, then.

**(◕‿◕✿)**: nononono

**(◕‿◕✿)**: why don't YOU come to the dance with us?

**dwayne**: I might be busy.

**(◕‿◕✿)**: You just said you were free this weekend!

**dwayne**: Well. Dances aren't really my scene.

**(◕‿◕✿)**: is anything your scene?? cmon!! we could explore the catacombs or something. remember when i told you about the passageways behind the walls in the girls' dorms? it wouldnt be the first time i spent a school dance adventuring!

**dwayne**: I'll think about it.

**(◕‿◕✿)**: ok.

**dwayne**: I watched that show you recommended to me.

**(◕‿◕✿)**: YES!! 

**(◕‿◕✿)**: what ep. are you on?

**dwayne**: I might've finished the entire first season... 

**(◕‿◕✿)**: DAMIAN! YOU SILLY GOOSE! 

**dwayne**: It was really good, in my defense! 

**(◕‿◕✿)**: omggggggg. we're sitting together at lunch. no exceptions. we're going to unpack this entire franchise.

**dwayne**: Sounds like a plan to me.

**(◕‿◕✿)**: see you then!! ☆=(ゝω･)/

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**gucci gang**: But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?

**gucci gang**: It is the east, and you are the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon.

**drain** **entrance**: quarantine's getting a bit rough, eh?

**gucci gang**: legit the only thing abuela has to read in this damn house is shakespeare. 

**gucci gang**: brace yourself. i might just memorize the entire balcony scene and show up outside your bedroom one night.

**drain** **entrance**: honestly, im flattered

**drain** **entrance**: are you going to request i cast off my vestal livery next?

**gucci gang**: u're fucking what

**gucci gang**: OH WAIT

**gucci gang**: i mean. whatever you want, babe.

**drain** **entrance**: i'm just teasing you

**drain** **entrance**: good morning! how goes life?

**gucci gang**: i miss you ;(((

**gucci gang**: and everyone else

**gucci gang**: (but mostly you)

**drain** **entrance**: (i miss you too)

**drain** **entrance**: uh oh, olive is giving me the stink eye

**drain** **entrance**: i think she's about to tell aunt harriet i've got my phone out

**gucci gang**: yall are at breakfast?

**drain** **entrance**: yup. blueberry pancakes and ceaser salad.

**gucci gang**: my stomach just rumbled

**drain** **entrance**: go eat!!!

**gucci gang**: no!!! i already had breakfast!!!

**drain** **entrance**: EAT IF YOU'RE HUNGRY

**gucci gang**: I WANNA TALK TO YOU

**drain** **entrance**: E A T

**drain** **entrance**: i'll call you later

**drain** **entrance**: olive is lunging for my phone anyways

**gucci gang**: okokok lmao, stay sexy & don't get murdered babe

**drain** **entrance**: you can count on it

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**kmizoguchi**: is everything ok?

**pfritch**: fine. 

**kmizoguchi**: where are you?

**pfritch**: why does it matter?

**kmizoguchi**: i just assumed you were going to eat lunch with us. 

**kmizoguchi**: pomeline?

**pfritch**: i was talking to someone 

**kmizoguchi**: ok.

**kmizoguchi**: olive's here.

**pfritch**: and?

**kmizoguchi**: well, olive's the ONLY one here

**pfritch**: where's maps?

**kmizoguchi**: with damian

**pfritch**: wayne?

**kmizoguchi**: yeah

**pfritch**: oh. are they a thing?

**kmizoguchi**: i have no idea.

**pfritch**: ok. something just came up. 

**kmizoguchi**: you can't eat with us?

**pfritch**: no. tell olive sorry. i might swing by during the last five minutes.

**kmizoguchi**: will do.

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**pom**: Hey, Heathcliff.

**heathen**: Pomeline, hey, what's up?

**pom**: Sorry I've been leaving you on read. A lot has happened. 

**heathen**: It's totally fine. I heard about Rivera and Mizoguchi.

**pom**: You did?

**heathen**: Oh yeah. Half of the school knows. 

**pom**: Oh.

**pom**: Well, I saw you at book club today.

**heathen**: I wasn't sure if you'd noticed me, to be honest.

**pom**: I did. I was a little stressed this morning.

**heathen**: I could tell.

**pom**: I know.

**pom**: Is it okay if I use our old practice room?

**heathen**: You still have the keys?

**pom**: I never got rid of them.

**heathen**: Sure, go ahead. What do you need it for.

**pom**: I just need some alone time right now. 

**heathen**: Understandable.

**heathen**: You going to the dance this weekend?

**pom**: Heathcliff.

**heathen**: It's not a come-on. I'm just asking.

**pom**: I don't know. Maybe.

**heathen**: Okay, then.

**pom**: Okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lil hc that heathcliff used his ~band kid privileges~ to get a permanent set of keys for a practice room that he and pomeline would frequent whilst they were dating, be it to make out or talk or just get away from the world.


	16. love is real and speedwagon and jonathan prove it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: yes the original chapter name was jonathan and dio, i had JUST started the show at the time and didn't realize they were meant to be step-brothers, which sounds awful in retrospect but what can u do. speaking of jojo, i've written some neat jjba fics which u can check out on my profile if u want,,,, jkjk unless?

**"detective club: LOVE IS IN THE AIR EDITION"**

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: BREAKING NEWS!!! jojo is good, actually (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

**spicy olive** **garden**: my day? ruined. my relationship with maps? over.

**big river dine and grill**: you had one job maps!!! and it was to not watch jojo under any circumstances

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: don't even try to pretend like you're not a jojo fan, colton

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: i've seen your youtube search history 

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: (and for the record, dio is definitely a power bottom)

**big river dine and grill**: i-

**big river dine and grill**: i never should have trusted you, pomeline

**big river dine and grill**: you know too much as it is

**spicy olive** **garden**: now who's guilty of watching hentai???

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: it's not hentai!!!

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: (yes kyle told me what hentai is)

**spicy olive** **garden**: KYLE

**big river dine and grill**: NO

**spicy olive** **garden**: GET YOUR ASS ON THIS GC RIGHT. NOW.

**colton's bitch**: uhhh hi, what'd i miss

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: why would you tell maps what hentai is

**colton's bitch**: I DID NOT

**spicy olive** **garden**: clearly you aren't TRUSTWORTHY any longer

**big river dine and grill**: babe. tell me you didn't tell her what hentai is.

**colton's bitch**: babe.

**colton's bitch**: i swear on all that is holy that i did not tell her what hentai is.

**big river dine and grill**: okay, he's telling the truth

**spicy olive** **garden**: ????

**spicy olive** **garden**: but then who told her-

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: SO ANYWAY!

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: i think we should do a netflix party tonight

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: what were you thinking of watching?

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: JOJO 

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: i walked right into that one, didn't i

**colton's bitch**: sure, that could be fun

**big river dine and grill**: if kyle's in, i'm in

**spicy olive** **garden**: ughhhhhhh 

**spicy olive** **garden**: FINE

**spicy olive** **garden**: but only to see what all the fuss is over

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: pomeline???

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: sure, i guess

**spicy olive** **garden**: but isn't the NP extension blocked on school chromebooks?

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: use your personal one!

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: (or just hack the firewalls in colton's case)

**spicy olive** **garden**: i don't have a personal one, dummy

**spicy olive** **garden**: remember when i tossed mine through the window so we could escape the zombies in langstrom's lab?

**spicy olive** **garden**: i never got it replaced

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: LMAO

**spicy olive** **garden**: glad you find my pain amusing ;(

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: it's okay, you can come to my dorm and share with me!!

**spicy olive** **garden**: that works

**colton's bitch**: so what time are we doing this? i think 7:30 would work best, since supper's at 6 and colton eats at 6:30

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: yeah sounds good!!! everyone cool with that???

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: guys?

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: put away your phone, maps

**pomeline dark'ness dementia raven** **way**: i can see you texting from the other side of the classroom

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ・‥…━━━★

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**gucci gang**: so on a scale of "you are never going to recover from this" to "legit just enjoy your PGA tour vacation", how much work am i going to have to make up?

**drain** **entrance**: eh, about a "only minor blows will be made to your quarterly grade average" 

**gucci gang**: i can live with that

**drain** **entrance**: so tell me! how's it going?

**gucci gang**: well

**gucci gang**: don't get me wrong. it's great here. i love my abuela so so much. this house hasn't been lived in for ages, tho, and im kinda running out of things to do 

**drain** **entrance**: oh, that sucks

**gucci gang**: and its stupid, ik, but im kind of... scared

**drain** **entrance**: of what?

**drain** **entrance**: there's absolutely nothing stupid about being scared after what you've been through.

**gucci gang**: thats just it. i feel like i havent been through enough to feel this way

**gucci gang**: but sometimes i think about my dad coming after me and then i cant make myself do anything but feel bad for myself

**gucci gang**: i really want to go back to school so i have something to do other than just. you know. throwing a pity party

**gucci gang**: he hasnt made any effort to contact us, though i sure he knows im with abuela by now. but when i get his face stuck in my head i just freeze

**gucci gang**: im starting to think i overreacted a bit. was he really that bad? theyre kids whove gone through so much worse than me. and instead of dealing with him, i just... ran away.

**drain** **entrance**: you have every right to throw yourself a pity party. there's no way to excuse what your father did. yes, they are people who have it worse, but that does not discount your experiences in the slightest.

**drain** **entrance**: and i can't promise that your father won't appear again, but i swear i'll do everything in my power to protect you from him.

**drain** **entrance**: you aren't alone. and you won't ever be again.

**drain** **entrance**: colton? you there?

**gucci gang**: im here. i just had to let everything sink in.

**gucci gang**: thank you. i needed that.

**drain** **entrance**: anytime.

**drain** **entrance**: please talk to me when you're feeling alone or scared. you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. i just want to be there for you.

**gucci gang**: even at 3 in the morning?

**drain** **entrance**: even in the middle of one of prof brown's lectures.

**drain** **entrance**: i'm here for you, colton.

**gucci gang**: thank you.

**drain** **entrance**: thank YOU.

**drain** **entrance**: now, maps mentioned outfits for the dance this weekend and i couldn't help but wonder... are matching suits something we wanna do?

**gucci gang**: babe-

**gucci gang**: kyle.

**gucci gang**: are YOU. asking ME. about FASHION DECISIONS?

**drain** **entrance**: absolutely 

**gucci gang**: i thought this day would never come

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**(◕‿◕✿)**: lunch today was so fun!! thanks for eating w me <33

**dwayne**: I'll admit it. I'm invested in this fictional work you've conjured regarding Jonathan and Speedwagon.

**(◕‿◕✿)**: u mean my jojo fanfic?? i thought u might like it (*・∀-)☆

**dwayne**: Are you free to talk later today?

**(◕‿◕✿)**: sure!! ik u have a thing for skipping two out of three meals a day, but u should eat w me and the detective club!

**dwayne**: I'm afraid I already have plans during supper.

**dwayne**: And I DO eat three meals a day, what are you talking about??

**(◕‿◕✿)**: i'll believe it when i see it

**(◕‿◕✿)**: so u can't eat with me?

**dwayne**: I was thinking we could hang out after dinner, or even do a phone call.

**(◕‿◕✿)**: heyy! a phone call could work!! im not rly supposed to be in boys' dorms after curfew anyway 

**dwayne**: Right.

**dwayne**: So I'll call you?

**(◕‿◕✿)**: yessir!

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**female ken kaneki**: can i come to your dorm

**allison reynolds stan**: why

**allison reynolds stan**: and why aren't you and maps on the NP

**female ken kaneki**: y'see, that's the thing,,

**female ken kaneki**: maps ditched us to talk to none other than damian wayne himself

**allison reynolds stan**: wait, fr? oh, he is going to get her so pregnant. 

**female ken kaneki**: EW. don't talk like that about my baby sister

**allison reynolds stan**: lmao, forgive me dear olive, i had to do it for what one might know as "the vine"

**female ken kaneki**: ok, weirdo

**female ken kaneki**: can i watch jojo off of your chromebook?? pwease???

**allison reynolds stan**: why don't you watch it with kyle or smth

**female ken kaneki**: 1) he's just going to talk about his boyfriend the entire time and i do NOT need to hear any more about colton's dick in the rest of my lifetime. 2) aunt harriet will kick my ass if she catches me in a boys dorm, she still thinks im dating kyle

**allison reynolds stan**: ughhhhh fine

**allison reynolds stan**: i GUESS you can come over

**female ken kaneki**: eee ty!! xoxo

**allison reynolds stan**: so long as you don't make any "owo" sounds when a hot guy's on screen like you did during our chilling adventures of sabrina marathon 

**female ken kaneki**: no promises ;)


	17. i am so tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thursday.

**"detective club: LOVE IS IN THE AIR EDITION"**

**big river dine and grill**: love is real and speedwagon and jonathan prove it

**spicy olive** **garden**: that is NOT true

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: so you guys enjoyed it??

**colton's bitch**: of course we did

**spicy olive** **garden**: it would've been better if u were there tho

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: i said i was sorry!! i promised damian we'd talk and i just totally miscalculated the times

**big river dine and grill**: to be fair, can we really fault you for going after true love?

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

**colton's bitch**: oh? not going to argue with him?

**spicy olive** **garden**: ughhhh im so tired

**spicy olive** **garden**: i should've just skipped out on last night

**spicy olive** **garden**: i want to sleep for a thousand years

**big river dine and grill**: but then you mightve never experienced jojo the way its supposed to be experienced: at 1 in the morning in a dark room

**spicy olive** **garden**: easy for u to say, you don't have to go to classes at 9 in the morning

**colton's bitch**: if you hadn't watched it last night, you wouldn't have met your latest fictional crush

**spicy olive** **garden**: oh yeah

**spicy olive** **garden**: i said erina's cute, didn't i

**colton's bitch**: actually, you called her a goddess amongst women with a smoking hot bod

**spicy olive** **garden**: well

**spicy olive** **garden**: i was right

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**female ken kaneki**: pom? are you seriously not gonna talk to me?

**female ken kaneki**: im sorry.

**female ken kaneki**: there, i said it

**female ken kaneki**: now can you stop being a bitch and get over yourself?

**allison reynolds stan**: fuck off

**female ken kaneki**: jesus christ

**female ken kaneki**: fuck you too, then

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**flamefucker**: i may not show it 100%, but i am in genuine physical pain.png

**scaley**: hello to you too

**flamefucker**: ughhrhejerhflrjhl i have so many regrets 

**scaley**: don't we all

**scaley**: why've you been walking around like a zombie all day?

**flamefucker**: my idiot friends convinced me to stay up all night watching jojo

**scaley**: ah, people of class, i see

**flamefucker**: NOT YOU TOO

**scaley**: ;)

**flamefucker**: so

**flamefucker**: you going to the dance?

**scaley**: actually... maybe. i'm not sure yet

**flamefucker**: //gasps

**flamefucker**: tristan!! i thought you loathed everything that makes up a typical high school dance?

**scaley**: well i thought, hey, if someone special turns up, why not go with them?

**scaley**: it could be fun with the right people

**flamefucker**: aww, how romantic 

**scaley**: ehh

**scaley**: what about you?

**flamefucker**: honestly

**flamefucker**: i wasn't planning on going before i talked to you

**scaley**: hey, that works too

**flamefucker**: we'll see :')))

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

****bastard disaster****: pomeline michelle fritch.

**fr(b)itch**: what the fuck do you want

****bastard disaster****: why have you been, how do you say, walking around in an utterly depressed manner for the last 24 hours?

**fr(b)itch**: how did you know

**fr(b)itch**: oh wait

**fr(b)itch**: did you really get your fucking boyfriend to spy on me?

****bastard disaster****: i need to make sure the homies are doing well at all times

**fr(b)itch**: so sorry to tell you, but this "homie" is doing absolutely horribly and wants to be left alone

****bastard disaster****: pom.

**fr(b)itch**: fuck off

****bastard disaster****: is this about olive?

**fr(b)itch**: ... 

**fr(b)itch**: maybe

****bastard disaster****: the fact that you typed out dot dot dot leads me to believe that this is indeed about olive

**fr(b)itch**: cut to the chase, dr. phill 

****bastard disaster****: im guessing you havent asked her to the dance?

**fr(b)itch**: maybe i did

**fr(b)itch**: maybe i did and she told me no because im a horrible bitch who's unworthy of love

****bastard disaster****: olive would never

**fr(b)itch**: ...

**fr(b)itch**: we fought last night.

****bastard disaster****: ah, there it is

****bastard disaster****: i was wondering what that huge break in your chat activity was about

****bastard disaster****: fingers were crossed that you guys hooked up

**fr(b)itch**: well, surprise surprise, WE DIDN'T

**fr(b)itch**: she told me i'm entitled andi've had everything handed to me in life, and honestly shes right

**fr(b)itch**: i just keep waiting for eeryone to realize im horrible and leave

****bastard disaster****: you arent horrible

****bastard disaster****: youre my best friend, for christs sake

****bastard disaster****: sometimes you piss me off or say insensitive shit but at the end of the day thats why i love you

****bastard disaster****: youre expressive, youre bold, and you always take the leap. you dont take shit from anyone and you always say whats on your mind

****bastard disaster****: now, what did you say to her?

**fr(b)itch**: i

**fr(b)itch**: called her a freak. i told her no one would ever truly care for her once they realize how fucked up she is.

****bastard disaster****: oh

****bastard disaster****: oh, pom. 

****bastard disaster****: no.

**fr(b)itch**: i know! i fucking know!

**fr(b)itch**: i was so upset and so scared she was gonna leave me so i hit her harder. what she said hadnt even bothered me that much, i just couldnt let her have the last word. i couldnt risk her being the first one to close off.

**fr(b)itch**: what i said isn't even TRUE. shes amazing. she's funny, witty, smart, and such a great person despite everything she's been through, whereas i've barely dealt with anything ever and look at me. look how i turned out.

**fr(b)itch**: i want her. but i don't deserve her. i will never deserve someone like her.

****bastard disaster****: pom, you will absolutely deserve her so long as you make this right.

****bastard disaster****: you messed up big time. but you can fix it.

**fr(b)itch**: how?

****bastard disaster****: you have to do more than just say sorry. you have to show her how you feel, show her that you think she's amazing and worthy of so much more.

**fr(b)itch**: jesus

**fr(b)itch**: when'd you become a fucking poet?

****bastard disaster****: i think...

****bastard disaster****: i think love just does that to you.

**fr(b)itch**: huh.

**fr(b)itch**: you love him? but you haven't even kissed

****bastard disaster****: there's different stages of love, i think, different types. there's a difference between loving your partner and being in love with them. i've loved kyle for a long time. i don't know if i'm in love with him, but i definitely love him.

**fr(b)itch**: wow

**fr(b)itch**: wow.

**fr(b)itch**: i don't know if i ever properly told you this, rivera, but i'm proud of you. i really am.

****bastard disaster****: i know.

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**gucci gang**: If music be the food of love, play on.

**drain entrance**: A young woman in love always looks like patience on a monument smiling at grief.

**gucci gang**: guess what, babe!

**drain entrance**: hm?

**gucci gang**: i'm going to school tmrw!!

**drain entrance**: HEY! 

**drain entrance**: that's great :)

**drain entrance**: does that also mean...?

**gucci gang**: yes sir

**gucci gang**: your boy colton is going to the valentine's day dance

**drain entrance**: i couldn't be more excited

**drain entrance**: so. matching suits?

**gucci gang**: matching suits!

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**"detective club: LOVE IS IN THE AIR EDITION"**

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: soooo..........

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: i might have asked someone to the dance

**colton's bitch**: damian?

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: damian (*≧∀≦*)

**big river dine and grill**: that's great, maps!

**big river dine and grill**: now we can do a double date

**UWU NOTIFICATION SQUAD**: maybe even a triple or quadruple date if olive and pom ask someone!!

**colton's bitch**: right.

**big river dine and grill**: uhm.

**big river dine and grill**: maybe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments & kudos are always appreciated ;)


	18. the death of stalin's sex holiday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday.

**gucci gang**: so then i told her no mortal pleasure could make me stray from the path of JESUS

**gucci gang**: (little did she know, im jewish)

**gucci gang**: and thats how i came out to my kindergarten sweetheart as gay

**drain entrance**: ok, you definitely have me beat in terms of pre-pubescent romance 

**gucci gang**: idk, u and annabella were pretty STEAMY for a pair of 2nd graders. holding hands in the computer lab, underneath the table so the teachers can't see? and during a star math test, no less? SCANDALOUS 

**drain entrance**: truly a shakespearan tale

**drain entrance**: i hate to cut this short, but it's two a.m. and tomorrow is your first day back and we're both going to be exhausted as it it.

**gucci gang**: aww, ur right. thanks for texting me for six hours straight.

**drain entrance**: anytime.

**drain entrance**: good night, babe

**gucci gang**: gn babe <3

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**gucci gang**: heyheyheyhey GUESS WHAT

**gucci gang**: im texting u from my PHONE

**drain entrance**: ?!?!?! phone??

**gucci gang**: abeula gave it to me at breakfast. i think she knows i hacked my school chromebook hh

**drain entrance**: that's great!

**drain entrance**: are you guys on your way to school right now?

**gucci gang**: 20 mins and counting :)

**drain entrance**: :)

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**DMAPS **created **SERPENTS & SPELLS AUXILIARY CHAT**

**DMAPS **added **eric from naruto **and **clay** **candle vlogger** to **SERPENTS & SPELLS AUXILIARY CHAT**

**DMAPS**: helloooooo friends!

**DMAPS**: eric jorgensen. katherine karlo.

**clay candle vlogger**: oh hullo maps

**clay candle vlogger**: what's all this?

**DMAPS**: remember way back when i mentioned making a group chat for our S&S group?? this is it!

**eric from naruto**: hi, maps.

**DMAPS**: hey eric!

**DMAPS**: i don't have anything in particular to tell you guys, i just wanted to go ahead and make the chat!! (★^∇^★)

**eric from naruto**: are we still meeting for our session on monday?

**DMAPS**: yes of course!

**clay candle vlogger**: right

**clay candle vlogger**: this is good, actually.

**clay candle vlogger**: i needed to get eric's tag anyway.

**DMAPS**: ooh kathy!

**clay candle vlogger**: i told you not to call me that.

**DMAPS**: should we make a separate chat for Stalin's Sex Holiday?

**eric from naruto**: WHAT?? i-

**clay candle vlogger**: ehh don't bother

**DMAPS**: oh eric, it's our metal band!

**DMAPS**: we don't have any songs out, but we're working on an ep at the moment.

**DMAPS**: (katherine, should i ask him)

**clay candle vlogger**: (yes)

**eric from naruto**: (ask me what?)

**DMAPS**: do u wanna play bass in our band, eric?? i'm on vocals and guitar and katherine plays drums.

**eric from naruto**: oh

**eric from naruto**: sure

**eric from naruto**: ... can we maybe change our name though?

**clay candle vlogger**: ooh bossy

**clay candle vlogger**: but i like that

**clay candle vlogger**: have any names in mind?

**eric from naruto**: why not the Serpents & Spells Auxiliary Group?

**clay candle vlogger**: ...

**DMAPS**: YES! i approve <333

**DMAPS**: katherine?

**clay candle vlogger**: yes.

**clay candle vlogger**: that could work.

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**scaley**: hayyy girlfrand

**flamefucker**: mhmmm

**flamefucker**: hi

**scaley**: something wrong?

**flamefucker**: some drama with friends

**flamefucker**: nothing major

**flamefucker**: im just overthinking it, probably 

**scaley**: well, you know you can always vent to me

**flamefucker**: i know

**flamefucker**: so what's up?

**scaley**: you're going to the dance, right?

**flamefucker**: yes

**flamefucker**: no

**flamefucker**: maybe

**flamefucker**: i don't know

**flamefucker**: it sounds like it would be fun, but also i don't want to fifth wheel colton kyle maps and damian

**scaley**: well

**scaley**: hmm

**scaley**: how do i say this

**scaley**: basically,,, 

**flamefucker**: use your words, tristan

**scaley**: i AM

**scaley**: basically

**scaley**: i got a date

**flamefucker**: !!!!!

**flamefucker**: TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME WHO

**flamefucker**: my day just got x10 better

**scaley**: a boy from my geometry class. you don't know him? his name is miles.

**flamefucker**: long brown hair, horrible acne?

**scaley**: hey, his acne isn't so bad

**flamefucker**: aww, young love :)

**flamefucker**: im so happy for you bro!! go defile his ass

**scaley**: HEY don't say that

**scaley**: what if he saw these texts,,

**flamefucker**: ohh no

**flamefucker**: you already traded passcodes?

**scaley**: :')

**flamefucker**: love at first sight ;)))

**scaley**: wbu? i know youve had that crush for a while

**scaley**: (still havent told me who she is)

**flamefucker**: i. don't think it's gonna work out with her.

**scaley**: aww :((( fuck her. 

**scaley**: but youre still going?

**flamefucker**: maybe. 

**\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Olive**: [image]

**Olive**: this is the third time i've found your underwear in my laundry, lucy.

**Olive**: please come get your shit.

**Lucy**: yeah yeah whatevs onw

**Lucy**: u going to the dance this weekend

**Olive**: why does it matter? also, can't you wait until we're in the same room to ask me this?

**Lucy**: im peeing rn

**Olive**: ew.

**Lucy**: im going stag this year 2 make my boy jealous and show that sweet sweet CONFIDENCE 

**Lucy**: boys love confidence 

**Olive**: "your boy"?

**Lucy**: my crush

**Lucy**: were friends

**Lucy**: rly good frends

**Lucy**: but he didnt ask me out

**Lucy**: or anyone else and ive got my hopes up

**Lucy**: hes going stag to

**Olive**: you aren't afraid of rejection? or that he might take it the wrong way? or that he'll dance with someone else?

**Lucy**: u callin me ugly

**Olive**: that's not what i meant and you know it.

**Lucy**: ahahaha

**Lucy**: no im not worried, u gotta be bold sometimes u know? make the first move even if the first move is going to the dance w/o asking him out

**Olive**: that's... weirdly insightful of you.

**Lucy**: yeah u knw me girl!

**Lucy**: ok omw fr now

**Olive**: hey, i'm sorry for calling you a bitch.

**Lucy**: thats ok i was SOO out of line 4 saying that about mia

**Lucy**: shes super cool i just had my own shit going on at the time nd took it out on her

**Lucy**: send her my best wishes mkay?

**Olive**: will do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is the dance!! it's going to be written out, just like chapter 12. prepare yourselves.  



	19. the valentine's day dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly what it says on the tin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM A MONTH LATE. hooo boy. don't think i forgot. i've been writing and rewriting this chapter nonstop until i decided, fuck it, i do what i want, and what i want to do is post this completely unedited. will this keep me up at night? probably, but i've left yall hanging for too long.

“Ready to go?”

Kyle leans against the door frame of his dorm, a small grin on his face as he looks Colton up and down. If it were anyone else, Colton might’ve felt a rush of insecurity—hell, if it was Kyle himself prior to about a week ago he would’ve felt self-conscious—but it’s not. It’s his boyfriend, Kyle Mizoguchi. His  _ boyfriend _ —he can still barely believe it.

So the matching suits idea didn’t really work out, probably due to the fact that they’re high schoolers on a budget of maybe $12. Colton outright refused to borrow clothes from Kyle when he offered, but couldn’t say no to his letterman. Colton always wanted a Letterman jacket of his own but wasn’t willing to join a sports team for it. He thinks this is the better alternative, though; wearing a Letterman that says ‘MIZOGUCHI’ on the back, plus the nicest skinny jeans he owns and the My Chemical Romance sunglasses he got for Christmas because, uh,  _ duh,  _ why wouldn’t he wear the M.C.R. shades? He even gelled his hair back.

But for as trendy as Colton feels, Kyle looks ten times better, no matter what he says. He’s wearing a navy blue turtleneck underneath a beige open coat that looks more expensive than Colton’s tuition—seriously, Colton feels so lucky to be this dude’s boyfriend right now. (Not that he doesn’t  _ always  _ feel that way.)

Colton links arms with Kyle and says, “Yup.”

Last time Colton went to a school dance, he was helping Olive and Maps break into the attic. How quickly things change.

They earn some looks from other students as they make their way down the hall. Colton tries to tell himself it’s only because Kyle is the school golden boy so of course everyone’s up in his business, and they’re not being judged for… well, you know. Being a couple.

They haven’t been  _ particularly  _ affectionate in public, just held hands at lunch and the like. They’ve been dating less than a week, but it feels like a lifetime. Is that wrong? It just feels so natural with Kyle. Like it was meant to be this way.

There he goes again—spewing sappy romantic bullshit about Kyle. But that’s just the thing; it’s  _ true.  _ He really feels like what he and Kyle have is special, but maybe that’s just what everyone thinks when they get their first partner. What does Colton know? Virtually nothing, if he’s being honest.

“Are Pom and Olive still fighting?” Kyle asks, knocking him out of his thoughts. 

Colton is quick to say, “Think so. Don’t know why, though.”

Colton  _ does  _ know why, but he’d be betraying the bro code of honor if he spilled Pomeline’s secrets to Kyle right now, so he just nods. 

Despite how early in the evening it is, the school is abuzz with activity. Everyone’s getting ready for the dance, locating friends and dates and dresses, and there’s an aura of something light, happy. If Colton were a poet, he’d say that love is in the air, but he’s not, so he just leans his head on Kyle’s shoulder and tries to relax when he sees Aunt Harriet eyeing them.

There’s already a line outside the gym when they arrive. 

“Are we… early?” Colton laughs at the irony. He’s never early for anything.

“Yeah,” Kyle scratches his neck, a blush dusting his cheeks. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t apologize.” Colton grabs Kyle’s hand and shivers at the rush of adrenaline the contact gives him. “C’mon. Follow me.”

He leads Kyle toward the North entrance of the school, which isn’t locked but is typically off-limits at this time of night. They shuffle up the stone spiral staircase right by the entryway, which takes them to the breezeway that goes toward the Science labs.

“Oh wow,” Kyle breathes, looking down at the kids heading toward the gym from over the barrier. “This is… this is really nice. Do you come up here often?”

The wind flutters Kyle’s hair, and Colton is absolutely enchanted by the sight. He’d stare at Kyle all night if he could. “Not really, no. I thought you might like it.”

“I do.” Kyle turns to Colton, eyes crinkling as he smiles.

Colton’s heart begins to thud. He puts his hand over Kyle’s on the stone and inhales, leaning in ever so slowly…

“Hey! You two! What do you think you’re doing up there? The North hall is off-limits after school hours!”

Both boys stumble at the shouting. Beneath the breezeway is one of the chaperones for the dance, red-faced and fuming. She snaps at them: “Oh, just  _ wait _ until I tell Headmaster Hammer.”

She saunters off in the direction of the front office, leaving behind an audience of students who now have their eyes trained on Kyle and Colton. The pair duck down and sit with their backs against the wall, shielding themselves from the gazes of their peers. 

Colton glances over at Kyle. Their hands are still laced together, but now they’re in much closer proximity than before. 

Kyle, looking skittish but amused, asks, “How long until she gets Hammerhead, do you think?”

“Pretty sure he’s asleep. It’s already 8:20, way past his bedtime.” Colton nearly trips up on every word. He’s got his eyes glued to the sight of Kyle’s face, his lips, the glimmer in his eyes, the freckle on his chin.

Kyle laughs even though the joke isn’t all that funny, at which point Colton starts laughing as well.

When Colton finally calms down, he finds Kyle watching at him with a curious expression. He seems expectant. Heavy. His grip on Colton’s hand tightens.

Colton wonders—

And then he cuts that line of thought off. Colton’s done a lifetime's worth of wondering over this boy. He’s always wondering, overthinking, assuming, waiting—isn’t it about time he got his happy ending?

Colton stops thinking. He leans forward and kisses Kyle softly.

Time slows. What can't be more than a few seconds feels like an hour. This feeling of closeness, this touching; it’s not something he’s used to. Colton’s never kissed anyone. He’s never  _ wanted  _ to kiss anyone, and they never wanted to kiss him. 

But Kyle does.

He cups Colton’s face with his hands, the tips of his fingers brushing his hairline. He pushes a little, so Colton pushes back. They break apart for a second, foreheads touching, breath mingling between them. 

Colton wants this perfect little moment to last forever, where he doesn’t have to worry about his dad or school or all the stupid things he does on a daily basis.

“You’re a good kisser,” Kyle murmurs. ”Has anyone ever told you that?”

“That was my first kiss,” Colton mumbles.

He doesn’t mean it in a bitter or resentful way, but like he said, he’s not really thinking— Kyle tenses for a fraction of a second and Colton snaps to attention. 

Shit.  _ Shit shit shit shit shit.  _ Not romantic, not cute, he shouldn’t have said that,  _ God  _ Colton just needs to  _ shut up _ —

“I hope it was a good one,” Kyle whispers, kissing his cheek.

“It was,” Colton whispers back, kissing his lips.

This time, Kyle uses his tongue to edge open Colton’s mouth, and oh boy, that’s a new sensation—but it feels  _ good. _ Like, really good. Like, he wants to do this all night. He makes a noise in the back of his throat, and it seems to awaken something in Kyle, who presses against him harder. Colton pushes back maybe just a bit too enthusiastically, because next thing he knows, Kyle’s fallen onto his back and Colton is on top of him.

He breaks the kiss. “Oh my God, I’m  _ so _ sorry—”

But Kyle is just laughing, and his smile is the most beautiful thing Colton’s ever seen, and he wants to kiss every corner of his face, and maybe then some.

“You don’t have to apologize, babe. Why don’t we go dancing, yeah?”

How could he possibly say  _ no _ when Kyle’s looking at him like that?

(They don’t go dancing, not exactly. Kyle leads him to the boys’ locker room in the back of the gym, and… yeah, you can imagine where it goes from there.)

* * *

“I mean, I don’t know what I expected—I gave her the keys, bug I thought she’d at least invite me in or something…” 

Heathcliff’s been at this for the last hour, and Olive’s silently nodded along because it’s better than stumbling around alone at a dance. She won’t actually listen, though, shitty as that may be, because he’s talking about Pomeline, and that’s the last thing she wants to hear about.

Pomeline, who should be here right now. Pomeline, who hasn’t spoken to her in three days.

Her stomach drops and she tries to focus on something, on  _ anything _ else; she catches Maps grinning from ear-to-ear on Damian’s arm and looks away when the jealousy flares; then, of course, she sees Tristan and his date, Miles, dancing to fast songs—

She shuts her eyes. Better to just pretend it’s not there.

Olive is perfectly fine with being single; that’s not what this is about. She’s super happy that everything worked out between Kyle and Colton and is over the moon that Maps finally snagged her man. She just wishes that she were out there with  _ her  _ crush instead of sitting here, listening to this lovestruck idiot drone on about a girl who obviously isn’t interested in him.

But that’s just hypocritical, isn’t it? Because Olive’s crush is the same girl Heathcliff’s musing about, except she’s ruined all chances of Pomeline ever talking to her again. They haven’t so much as made eye-contact since Wednesday. 

She needs to get out of here. She’s hanging around like a bomb ready to detonate at the sight of her friends having fun without her. This is too similar to what dances were like before she had the Detective Club, and she’s not sure if she’s going to scream, cry, or punch Heathcliff in the face if she has to sit and silently live with this any longer.

She mumbles something about needing a drink and pretends not to hear him when he points out that they’re right by the punch bowl. She’s just going to get a sip of water and leave—coming here in the first place was a huge mistake.

She shuffles over to a far corner of the gymnasium, where a tiny, dank hallway extends off the room. On either end of the hall is a locker room and at the end is a solitary water fountain. She’s barely able to see the button on the side of the fountain, but she’s grateful for the distance; the music is but a low rumble now that she’s so far away from the rest of the party. She dips her head, not bothering to brush her ponytail out of the way, and slurps at the musty room-temperature water until she forgets what she’s doing here all together.

_ Maps and Kyle and Colton don't need me.  _

_ Tristan got a date and I couldn’t. _

_ Pomeline hates me because I’m a freak reject just like my mother, just like she said _ —

“Hey, could you hurry it up? Some of us have places to be.”

She’s so caught up in her self-loathing that the sound of Pomeline’s voice causes her to choke. For a second she’s convinced she imagined it, manifested the false presence of Pomeline with her own desire, but then she turns around and wipes her mouth with her sleeve and oh yes, that’s definitely Pomeline standing before her.

With her hands on her hips.

Waiting to use the water fountain.

Right.

Olive doesn’t even bother saying  _ hello _ , just starts walking off, but Pomeline stops her.

“Wait,” she says, a crack in her voice. Olive looks back up and meets Pom’s stare. There’s something strange about it—she doesn’t know what to make of it. “Stay. Just a second. I need to talk to you.”

Olive nods, but Pomeline’s already leaning over the water fountain. She crosses her arms, trying not to think about it, about her, about anything, and slides down against the wall until she hits the floor. She's probably ruining her dress, but all of the sudden she couldn’t care less.

Pomeline finishes and takes note of Olive’s position before she sits down across from her, leaning back on the water fountain. There’s about three inches of space between Pomeline’s heels and Olive’s converses. Olive tucks her legs in and sits on her knees.

Pomeline takes this as her cue to start talking.

“I’m a piece of shit.”

Olive snorts, holding back a  _ Yeah, you are. _

“You deserve better than me. I’ve always dragged you down, and it’s not because I don’t like you—fuck, it’s definitely not that. It’s me, okay? I  _ know  _ I’m entitled and bitchy and petty. And I hate those parts of me, but I haven’t done anything to improve them. When you brought it up the other night, in that casual, concerned way, I got scared. I’ve convinced myself that you’re going to walk away from me any day now, and quite frankly, I won’t blame you if you do just that the second I’m done talking. But hear me out: I think you’re smart and pretty and funny.  _ I’m _ the one who’s a freak; I’m terrified of people leaving me. So when you started saying those things, I got on the defensive and tried to hurt you more than I was hurting myself so that I would be the one to push you away instead of vice versa. What I said that night wasn’t about you—it was about me. All of it. I—” She hesitates, pausing her speech to discern Olive’s reaction.

Olive hadn’t realized she'd started biting her nails.

She unfolds her legs and sits on her hands, just in case.

In all honesty, Olive doesn’t care about their argument. They were tired, upset over different things, and let out their frustration on each other. She’d already apologized, and was just waiting for Pomeline to do the same (for a second there, she was scared she wouldn’t.) No, in all honesty, Olive doesn’t give a shit about what Pomeline said that night—it was all things she’s heard before, some of them from Pomeline’s own mouth.

But something about the way she’s looking at her right now… this is different. She feels truly and perfectly alone with Pomeline right now, the same way she did the first time she stayed over at her dorm to watch movies. Warmth floods her, and she… she shivers? 

What is this? What is this feeling?

_ Could it be? Could she mean? Could this be it? _

She looks up from her lap and meets Pomeline’s gaze. She’s leaning forward, and so is Pomeline, she realizes. There’s something… sparkling in Pomeline’s eyes, something like—

Olive’s heart lurches.  _ Wait _ —

Before either of them can get another word out, the door to the boys’ locker room bursts open and out tumbles Kyle and Colton, noticeably disheveled. They’re grinning ear-to-ear at each other, glowing like it’s their wedding day— and then they notice Olive and Pomeline sitting there.

“Guys,” Colton gasps, significantly winded. “C’mon. The slow dance is starting.”

Olive opens her mouth, but words won’t come out. The boys don’t give her a chance to respond before they start in the direction of the dance floor.

“I thought—isn’t that supposed to be  _ locked _ ?” Pomeline shouts after them.

“Benefits of being a Prefect!” Kyle says over his shoulder.

Pomeline narrows her eyes, annoyed for a second, before shrugging and falling back into a casual stance. She turns to Olive, but she’s already on her feet, wearing an expression identical to Colton and Kyle’s.

“Pomeline.” She holds out a hand. “May I have this dance?”

* * *

“I’ll give you one thing, Maps. This is pretty freaking cool.”

Maps took Damian to the attic. Yes, the one that she, Olive, Colton, and Pomeline broke into last year. 

She watches him with glee as he flips what appears to be skeleton key over in his hand. He’s sitting on an old trunk that they tried to pry open earlier and sadly could not, one leg pulled up next to him. There’s a huge window right above Maps, and it’s shining down on him, giving his skin an ethereal glow in the moonlight.

When Maps asked Damian out and he agreed, they never really specified if this was a date-date or just a friend date. Because, yes, Maps likes Damian a lot—a  _ whole _ lot—but she’s not sure if he likes her back. And it’s okay if that’s the case; she’s happy to just be here with him.

She takes a seat next to him on the trunk, cringing at the way the material of her pants scratches against the wood. She borrowed one of Kyle’s old suits, but it ended up being surprisingly tight on her, probably because she’s much taller at age 14 than he was at 12. 

“I’m glad you think so! I really wanted to make tonight special,” she says, eyes on his fingers as he fiddles around with the key.

He looks up at her, hands lowering to his lap. She realizes how close their faces are, just inches apart, and backs away from him, but he doesn’t seem bothered. If anything, he looks offended that she hurried away from him so quickly. 

“Can I confess something?” he says in this quiet voice, almost like he’s nervous, which makes no sense. Since when has Damian Wayne ever been unsure of anything?

Maps nods.

He inhales. “I… I don’t have a part time job.”

Maps deflates. That was anticlimactic. She was expecting him to reveal some horrible secret, or maybe, just  _ maybe _ even admit he… well, there’s no way he likes her, right? Not like that, at least.

“So you’ve been… lying about being busy on the weekends?”

Damian swallows. “Not exactly. I—I’m… oh, how do I say this? I’m Robin, Maps.”

It takes exactly 3.4 seconds to sink in.

“You’re—you’re  _ Robin _ ? As in  _ the  _ Robin? The one that fights with Batman?” Maps explodes out of her seat, clapping her hands together. She can barely contain her excitement and doesn’t even begin to hide her grin.

Damian looks shaken, like he’s not getting the reaction he expected. Why would she react any other way, though—she’s friends with Robin! How is that not the coolest thing ever? Oh, it makes so much sense—the way he knew how to find her, the way he knew—

“Wait! Ohmigod, do you know  _ Batman _ ?” 

Damian closes his mouth. Slowly, to the point where Maps is worried he won’t do it at all, he smiles. He gives her a huge smile, eyes fluttering shut. With a laugh, he says, “Yeah, I do.”

“Does your dad know? Does Bruce Wayne know Batman? Oh my God, this is so exciting—!” She grabs his hands and pulls him up, and he only lets her because he’s so surprised. But instead of pulling away or panicking like she expects him to do, he just keeps laughing and spins her around the room.

“No, my dad doesn’t know. You’re the first person I’ve ever told, actually.”

That stops her in her tracks. She halts the spinning, still clutching his hands, and looks him dead in the eye, searching for an explanation. Why  _ her _ ? Of course she’s overjoyed at the news, but—why her? Why would he tell Maps and not his own father? What’s so special about her?

“Why me?” she asks quietly, feeling her confidence slipping.

Damian swallows again. “I—I don’t know. It just felt right. I wanted you to know.”

They hold each other’s gaze for a moment. Neither says a thing, and if Maps is being honest, she’s at a loss for words. 

Not to sound petty or jealous or anything, but it’s never about Maps. Never  _ just  _ her, anyway. It’s always about Olive’s powers or Kyle’s tennis games—she loves her friends to death, but she also acknowledges that she’s not the main character of their stories. And she’s fine with that, but… this is different. Damian putting her first. This is different, and it feels nice. Super nice.

“I…” she starts.

Damian cuts her off.

He leans forward and kisses her cheek, hovering there for just a moment before he pulls away. He watches her with wide eyes afterwards, like he’s awaiting her response.

She can hear the music from the dance below them thumping. The song changes from one fast and boring to a slow, familiar tune. 

Maps knows what to do.

“Do you want to dance?” she asks him.

And he grins.

* * *

Olive is dancing in Pomeline’s arms right now.

Pomeline doesn’t know how she got here. Literally, yes, she does—she remembers it all quite clearly—but she doesn’t know what higher power pulled strings in her favor to get to this point. She doesn’t know how she ended up in the arms of her crush.

She’s liked Olive for some time now. It happened naturally over the course of their friendship, and gradually she realized that her feelings toward Olive were more than just casually enjoying her presence. Suddenly, she wanted to be around Olive all the time and couldn’t ever get her off her mind. 

And now she’s here, Olive’s hands on her shoulders, her hands on Olive’s waist. She’s staring down at her, their eyes locked. Neither has said a word since they made it over to the dance floor, and the song’s already half over. 

Colton and Kyle are dancing a little ways away from them, but Pomeline’s choosing not to glance at them because 1) they’re probably sucking face, and 2) Olive looks so beautiful in the dim light of the gym, she’s absolutely glowing, and Pomeline’s afraid to break the spell that’s keeping Olive’s eyes on her.

She also saw Maps and Damian earlier, dancing close enough together that a chaperone had to snap at them to leave room for Jesus. But she’s not thinking about them—she’s thinking about, looking at, and completely obsessed with  _ Olive, Olive, Olive.  _

( _ I want to kiss her, but I’m afraid to say it out loud. _ )

“I meant what I said earlier,” she says just loud enough to be heard over the music. 

“The apology?” Olive asks. “I know. I already told you it was fine.”

“But it’s not.” Pom grits her teeth. “And I didn’t get to finish before Horny and Hornier walked in on us.”

Olive snorts at that. Then she sees Pom’s sullen expression and her face falls.

She’s waiting. It’s now or never, Pomeline.

“I…” 

Very suddenly, and very forcibly because it’s the only way she knows how, she pulls Olive closer. Her arms snake around her waist until they’re completely wrapped around her. Olive doesn’t go stiff or push her away—in fact, she seems to sink into Pomeline’s touch, inviting it.

Pomeline thinks about the conversation she had with Colton on the different stages of love. That you can love someone and not be  _ in  _ love with them. That love is a progression. That sometimes the love that comes naturally is stronger than any sort of romantic feeling you could force on someone.

She leans down and brushes the hair behind Olive’s ear. She whispers, “I love you, Olive.”

And Olive hears.

She grabs Pomeline by the face and pulls her into a kiss so deep it nearly knocks her off her feet. 

They kiss and sway together for as long as they can manage without oxygen. Then they kiss again, and again, and Pomeline grabs her hips and Olive groans into her mouth—

“Get it, girls!” someone shouts.

Olive pulls away, hands still on her face, and looks over Pomeline shoulders. Pom feels whiplash as she realizes they’re in the gym, at the Valentine’s Day dance, where they can very much be seen by everyone. The slow song’s already over.

“Shut  _ up, _ ” Olive laughs, but it’s not at her. Pom turns to see Colton and Kyle behind them, swallowed in the sea of couples on the dance floor. Colton’s got his hands cupped over his mouth and is shouting something intelligible, while Kyle’s got his arm around him, giving Pom and slight nod and a thumbs up.

_ Oh my God.  _ Embarrassing. She looks away immediately. 

Olive’s watching her when she turns back. She says, “You wanna get out of here?”

Pomeline smirks. “‘Been waiting for you to ask me that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm always a slut for feedback ❤️  



End file.
